Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Thesedays, people are purchasing many items or paying for treatments which allow them to look younger. I believe that it is a negative development because it can be expensive and it has side effects as well. In this essay, I will support my opinion with concrete examples.

Many products or treatments to look younger can be highly expensive. This is mainly because some people spend thousands of dollars on facial creams, serums, and other essential items, which make them younger. For example, a large number of actors and actress do a plastic surgey in order to look young, and they spend a huge amount of money on it. As a result, only rich people can afford this and it has detrimental imapct on community.

Using various products for skin can have side effects. This is because some people face problems, such as rashes, acne, skin cancer, and so on. For instance, many families are spending money on cosmetic and treatments to look young, which can cause adverse effects on the skin. Moreover, these side effects can require additional medical treatment, which may place an extra financial burden on individuals and their families. Therefore, excessive use of these products may cause skin problems and negatively affect people's overall well-being.

In conclusion, although many people make their appearance young with help of expensive products and costly treatments, I firmly believe that this process is not only highly expensive but also can cause hamful effect on the face. Consequently, in my opinion, it is a bad thing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you consider the trend negative because of its cost and possible health effects. Both reasons are relevant, and the second body paragraph develops the health concern further by explaining that side effects may lead to additional medical expenses. The examples of actors and families also help illustrate your points. However, some support is less convincing or precise: the claim that only rich people can afford these products is broad, and the link between cosmetic treatments and skin cancer is asserted without explanation. To strengthen the response, explain how each example supports your argument and develop the social consequences more clearly. This would make the discussion more consistently extended and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion that restates your view. Topic sentences such as “Many products or treatments to look younger can be highly expensive” make the paragraph focus easy to follow. You also use linking expressions, including “For example,” “Moreover,” and “Therefore,” to show relationships between ideas. At times, however, these links feel somewhat mechanical, and the reasoning within the first body paragraph moves quickly from expensive products to actors and then to effects on the community. Make those connections explicit, and use pronouns or other referencing carefully to avoid repeating “products” and “treatments.” This would make progression smoother and cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “facial creams,” “serums,” “side effects,” “adverse effects,” and “financial burden.” These choices show an attempt to discuss the issue beyond basic everyday language. However, several word-choice and collocation problems reduce precision, such as “make them younger,” “do a plastic surgey,” and “make their appearance young.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “actress,” “surgey,” “imapct,” and “hamful.” Some expressions are repeated, particularly “look young” and “expensive.” Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully; a wider, more accurately controlled range would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and several sentences communicate their meaning clearly, such as “Moreover, these side effects can require additional medical treatment, which may place an extra financial burden on individuals and their families.” Relative clauses and cause-and-effect structures add some variety. There are also some grammatical errors, including “a large number of actors and actress do,” where the plural noun and verb form need attention, and “with help of expensive products,” which needs an article. The final sentence, “not only highly expensive but also can cause,” has an unbalanced structure. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, and parallel constructions, while continuing to use complex sentences. Most errors do not prevent understanding, but greater consistency would improve control.

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