Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Medical science has been growing at very fast pace which has also given chance to people to get several products and treatments to enhance there beauty and look younger. I believe that it is benificial as it helps people to boost there confidence.

First and formost, The products and treatments provides major advantage to the person who is into acting and modeling. It helps them to attain there beauty for longer period of time. As these products and treatment slows the oxidation in the body which helps in delaying aging which allows actors and models to look presentable and attractive for long time. For example, A news article In Hindustan Times tells that most bollywood actors goes to Turkey for cosmatic treatments to look younger.

Furthermore, One of the biggest advantage of these enhancers are that, they can help people to maintain their beauty who have suffered from illness and accidents. Some medical procedures are harsh on skin which could eventually effect the appearence of the person. These treatments could be life saving for someone as they can help healing the skin and wounds. Moreover, individual who met with accident and lost or damage skin could use plastic surgery to heal themselves. For example, Radiation tharapy used in cancer treatment can burn the certain part of the skin, however doctors uses different lotions and beauty products to heal them.

In conclusion, I strongly support the fact that there is nothing wrong in using and paying for skin products and treatment as they could help someone to perform well and sustaion there profession. However, It could also be useful in treating several illness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider products and treatments that help people look younger to be beneficial, mainly because they can boost confidence. You support this with two relevant areas: appearance-related work in acting and modelling, and recovery after illness or accidents. The examples about actors travelling for cosmetic procedures and skin damage from cancer treatment help make the discussion concrete. This covers the question, but the first reason focuses more on maintaining a professional appearance than on the broader effects of looking younger, and the second paragraph shifts from cosmetic enhancement to medical healing without fully explaining the connection. Develop the consequences for individuals and society more explicitly, and qualify claims such as treatments being “life saving” to make the argument more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. Signposting such as “First and foremost,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow. However, some links between ideas are abrupt. For instance, the discussion moves from actors’ appearance to oxidation, then to a news example, without clearly explaining how the example supports the point. In the second body paragraph, “Moreover” introduces a related but partly repetitive point about accident victims. Use referencing more precisely and build each paragraph around one main claim, followed by explanation and a directly connected example. This would make cohesion less dependent on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “cosmetic treatments,” “oxidation,” “radiation therapy,” and “plastic surgery,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “maintain their beauty” and “enhance their appearance.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable, including “benificial,” “appearence,” “cosmatic,” and “sustaion.” Some combinations are also unnatural or imprecise: “attain their beauty” and “perform well and sustain their profession” do not express your intended meaning clearly. The range is adequate for the topic, but repeated use of “beauty,” “products,” and “treatments” limits flexibility. Check spelling carefully and choose collocations that describe the specific benefit, such as restoring appearance or supporting confidence.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses beginning with “which,” “as,” and “however,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. Some sentences are controlled, such as “I believe that it is beneficial as it helps people to boost their confidence.” However, errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “The products and treatments provides” should use a plural verb, while “One of the biggest advantage” needs a plural noun. In “A news article … tells that most bollywood actors goes,” the reporting structure and subject–verb agreement are faulty. There are also comma and capitalisation problems that affect sentence boundaries. Review agreement and article use, and revise longer sentences so each clause has a clear subject and verb.

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