Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern era, people are trying to look more beautiful and more attrative with the help of products and treatments. So nowaday,s it is also possible to look more young with help of these products and high end facial treatments. This essay will discuss the positive attribute and a negative impact of it and conclude with opinion.

Firstly, in this presentable world pupils spend more on beauty products or therapy to look young and more handsome. By using very expensive iteams of makeup which will help them to look more appealing. It has become a day to day routine for most of them and spend much time to it. Secondly, easy acessible skin care products are there in the market from cheaper to expensive iteams which will help to make skin fresh and shiney. For example, many celebrities like John Reached, Jack Hallman, Julie bristow and many more have done their face job and due to it they had very sucessfull carrier in the film industry.

On the other hand, using this products can be very dangerous and harmfull in future. At till certain age you would enjoy using products or doing treatments but are you cross certain age limit then this will have adverse effect on your skin, may cause skin cancer or blood cancer. As most of these products or treatment use chemicals. For instance, if a person has done any treatment or used makeup products more offten in their life trying to look young, by the age of 60 or 65 their skins start to age fast, they have more rinkles on the faces as compared to other people who are not using this products more often or undergo this type of treatment.

In conclusion, I believe that spending more money to look younger is fascanating but not a good choice. As it can have a negative impact on life and might lead to serious skin related issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a clear final view: although appearance treatments may be appealing, you conclude they are “not a good choice” because of possible health effects. The examples about celebrities and long-term skin changes are relevant to the topic. However, the positive side is not clearly connected to whether this trend is good, and the claim that celebrities’ treatments led to successful film careers is asserted rather than explained. The health risks are also presented as definite outcomes, including cancer, without support or qualification. Develop fewer points more carefully, explain how each supports your judgement, and make your position explicit from the introduction onward.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a contrasting paragraph on risks, and a conclusion. Sequencing words such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the broad direction. However, some links feel mechanical, and the first body paragraph moves from makeup to routine use and then to celebrity careers without clearly showing how these points connect. References such as “this products” and “it” are not always clear, while the opening promises to discuss both sides without establishing the writer’s position. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, connect examples directly to that point, and use pronouns with clear referents.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “facial treatments,” “skin care products,” “adverse effect,” and “skin-related issues,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at more descriptive language, such as “more appealing.” However, spelling errors and inaccurate or unnatural word choices are noticeable throughout, for example “attrative,” “iteams,” “shiney,” and “fascanating.” Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “presentable world” and “face job,” and repeated use of “products” limits variety. These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Check spelling carefully and learn natural collocations for discussing cosmetic procedures, appearance, and health risks.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “On the other hand” and a conditional example beginning “if a person has done any treatment.” However, many sentences contain errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, or articles, and these can make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “By using very expensive items of makeup which will help them…” is a fragment, while “At till certain age” and “are you cross certain age limit” do not form accurate grammatical patterns. There are also problems with plural and singular agreement in “this products.” Practise building complete sentences around one main clause, then check verb forms, articles, and agreement before adding subordinate clauses.

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