Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is commonly trending that older people wants them to be younger so to try a lot of beautify products who advertise them as a solution for such problem. People are also going adopting certain other methods such as surgeries etc. This essay will depict whether such kind of procedures are good or not.

On the one side, one cannot ignore the knowledge of the persons who had done a lot of studies to know about the skin recovery. They dive deeply into the skin and try to find the cause due to which the person seems like older. They suggest the treatment according to that which is helpful to people to look much more younger. Moreover, such kind of solutions make the personality of a person. The personality also brings the respect in other person's mind that ultimately leads to the love.

On the other hand, it is disturbing natural skin can be harmful some time as such product might be reactive to the person's skin which may lead to some major issue which might also disturb natural beauty. In spite of this the person mentality changes as these products or treatments requires a lot of money power. The people who are able to do it felt more richer and treating others down to them.

At last one should avoid such kind of external treatments as there are many things one needs to sacrifice but if one really need to go for it then one should make sure that one should visit to expert to avoid any sort of major problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question and give a final recommendation: treatments may improve appearance, but people should be cautious and consult an expert. The discussion of possible skin reactions and the expense is relevant. However, your position is not fully clear until the conclusion, and the positive points—such as treatments improving personality and earning respect—are asserted rather than explained or supported with an example. The response therefore covers the task only partially, with ideas that remain limited or under-developed. State clearly in the introduction whether you consider these products and treatments mainly beneficial or harmful, then develop each main reason with a specific explanation or example. This would make your answer more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signposted by “On the one side” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader an overall route through your ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the link between looking younger, gaining respect, and receiving love is not explained. Some transitions, including “Moreover” and “In spite of this,” do not clearly show how the following point relates to the previous one. References such as “such kind of solutions” also leave the exact idea somewhat vague. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, explain it in sequence, and use linking expressions only when their relationship is precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “surgeries,” “skin recovery,” “treatment,” and “natural beauty,” so the subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning harder to follow. For example, “beautify products” and “money power” do not express the intended ideas naturally, while “disturbing natural skin” is unclear. Repetition of “such kind of” also reduces flexibility. Aim to use precise, familiar expressions rather than forcing unusual combinations, and check whether each phrase fits its context. More accurate vocabulary for cosmetic products, risks, costs, and social effects would help you express your arguments clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a relative clause in “products who advertise them as a solution” and a conditional recommendation in the conclusion. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction can make the reader pause. Examples include “older people wants,” “People are also going adopting,” and “the person mentality changes.” The sentence beginning “On the other hand” is also difficult to parse because its clauses are not connected clearly. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a supporting clause, then check subject–verb agreement and verb patterns. Greater control of these basics will make your ideas easier to understand.

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