Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Advancement of technology is helping people to look younger by treating them and helping them to buy beauty products. In my opinion this trend has many negative consequences such as skin damage and health problems.

To commence with, using various products might lead to skin damage. People are ready to break their banks to get skincare products available in market, which gurantee them to stabilise their young age. Undoubtedly, some works good for skin, whlie many product are not clinically proven safe. Thus, this products instead of making skin look young, rather make it look worse. It also makes people feel stressed out, as they spend a lot of money to look young and gets a zero result. For example, numerous unnamed product for skin whitening are available in market, which turned out to burn skin of many people. The people who have sensitive skin would barely recover from the scars left by laser treatment.

Furthermore, people face health problem when they consume unknown products. Health isuues arises when people buy pills and protein from market without consulting doctor to look young. There are numerous chemicals been added to this products which are not safe for everyone. People are not even aware about the dose to be taken in a day. Consequently, problems like indigestion and allergies on skin start when taking wrong medication. For instance, protein used while gym may make a person look fat.

To conclude, undoubtedely, people putting efforts to stay young is a common practice, however, getting old by growing age is a natural process and it depends on genetics. Therefore, buying unnecessary products from market would affect the health of people and their would also be many skin barriers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider the trend harmful, and both body paragraphs give relevant reasons—possible skin damage and health risks from products or treatments. The examples of whitening products and laser-treatment scars help illustrate the first point. This addresses the question, but some ideas are less fully developed than others. For instance, the claim that protein used at the gym may make someone look fat is unclear and does not directly explain the risks of anti-ageing products or treatments. The conclusion also introduces genetics without explaining its relevance to your argument. To strengthen the response, explain the mechanisms and consequences more precisely, and ensure each example directly supports your view of whether the trend is good or bad.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate concerns, and a conclusion. The progression from skin damage to health problems is logical, and signposts such as “Furthermore” and “To conclude” make the organisation easy to follow. This already gives the essay a coherent shape. However, some linking is mechanical, and connections between ideas are occasionally unclear. For example, “It also makes people feel stressed out” does not clearly identify whether “it” refers to buying products or the disappointing results. The protein example also feels disconnected from the preceding point about medication. Use more precise referencing and explain the link between each example and its paragraph’s main idea to make cohesion more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “clinically proven,” “laser treatment,” “sensitive skin,” and “allergies,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems make parts of the essay awkward or unclear. Phrases such as “break their banks,” “stabilise their young age,” and “skin barriers” are not natural in this context; “break the bank,” “maintain a youthful appearance,” and “skin problems” would be clearer. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “gurantee,” “whlie,” and “undoubtedely.” Aim to use accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully, rather than relying on phrases that sound formal but do not express the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “as,” “which,” and “when.” This allows you to express causes and examples, and the main message is generally understandable. However, errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and verb forms occur across the response. For example, “many product are” should be “many products are,” “this products” should be “these products,” and “people … gets” should be “people … get.” In “Health isuues arises,” the subject and verb do not agree, while “There are numerous chemicals been added” needs a corrected passive construction, such as “numerous chemicals are added.” Review these patterns and build complex sentences that remain grammatically controlled.

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