Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that spending money on the products and paying for cosmetic treatments to look younger and beautiful is quite common for people. Although, on positive side it gives confidence whereas on the other side it makes individuals more concerned about their looks instead of their personality. I believe it is a negative development.

Nowadays people are becoming more concerned about their looks and to look beautiful and younger they spend lot of money but these products can't guarantee results. Moreover, cosmetic products and treatment are very expensive, not everyone can afford them. Some people are so obsessed with their beauty that even a single scar give them depression. To look perfect and younger than their age, many individuals undergo various surgeries that cost their health. For example, famous actress ' Rakhi' she underwent lots of rhinoplasty surgeries and skin rejuvinative treatment to compete in entertainment industry and now she is suffering from cancer.

One should have to admire the real inner beauty rather than outer beauty and should admire the process of aging. Aging is natural process. Instead of spending lot of money on cospectic products that are not even a permanent solution, individual have to join physical activities like yoga, dance, gym and eat sustainable diet. This will give them natural permanent glow that nourish their beauty.

In conclusion, becoming over concerned about looks and spending on cosmetics is negative development. I believe one should have to admire the natural aging process and try to keep their body healthy by doing exercises and eating healthy food.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you regard spending on appearance as a negative development. You address both the potential benefit of confidence and several disadvantages, including expense, anxiety about imperfections, and health risks from surgery. The example of a celebrity is relevant, although the claimed link between cosmetic procedures and cancer is not explained or supported, so it is less convincing than your general points. The suggestion to value inner beauty and maintain health through exercise and diet adds a useful response, but it could be connected more directly to the question of buying products and treatments. Develop the benefits and drawbacks with more balanced explanation and reliable examples to make the argument more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs present disadvantages and alternatives, and the conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. However, the first body paragraph combines affordability, emotional effects, surgery, and a celebrity example, so its central line of argument becomes crowded. The transition from the disadvantages to advice about exercise and diet is understandable but could be made more explicit. Some connections are also mechanical, particularly the repeated contrast structure “on positive side… on the other side.” Group related points more carefully and use clearer references between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “cosmetic treatments,” “obsessed,” “inner beauty,” and “natural aging process,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “undergo various surgeries” and “permanent solution.” However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “rejuvinative,” “cospectic,” and “sustainable diet” are inaccurate or unsuitable in context. Some phrases are also awkward or repetitive, including “look beautiful and younger” and repeated references to “beauty” and “looks.” Build a more reliable range of collocations and check spelling carefully; more precise wording would make your argument sound more natural and persuasive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although… it gives confidence” and a relative clause in “products… that are not even a permanent solution.” The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “a single scar give them depression” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “Aging is natural process” needs an article. The opening “Although” clause is not correctly connected to the main clause, and “One should have to admire” uses an incorrect modal construction. There are also problems with plural and verb forms in “individual have to join.” Practise accurate clause construction, articles, agreement, and modal patterns while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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