Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this era, this is becoming a trend in individuals to look young and beautiful. Therefore, people spend a lot of money on expensive surgeries and treatments . This essay will discuss the both good and bad impacts of this trend.

To commence with, a few children born with rare skin conditions, which lead them to look old before than their actual age. For instance, a news article revealed that in the last few years most of the facial surgeries were carried on those people who were suffering from skin problems. A survey published by Times of India also revealed, children who born with skin conditions had went through the bully by their friends and classmates because they look different from them. Thus, these kind of treatments help the people to re-gain the confidence.

Furthermore, sometimes these treatments become the disaster for the people.Few candidates who went through these procedures develop more worse symptoms of the disease. For instance, a social media influencer conducted the interview with the people and they told him, after the surgery their skin has been become more sensitive to the sunlight. Skin turns into redness and itchiness whenever they get contact with the sunlight.

In conclusion, surgeries and treatments can help them to look younger . However , it comes with both positive and negative impacts. These surgeries and expensive products can heal the person personality but sometimes it can cause the worse problems as well. People should always consult and take advice with doctors .

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question: treatments may help people with visible skin conditions feel more confident, while procedures can also cause harmful effects. The examples about bullying and sensitivity to sunlight are relevant, and your conclusion recognises both benefits and risks. However, the task asks whether this trend is good or bad, and your position remains balanced rather than clearly stating which view you support. Some points are also under-developed: the discussion focuses mainly on medical procedures and skin conditions, with little consideration of products or treatments used simply to look younger. State your overall judgement clearly and explain it with more specific reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement, with an introduction, one paragraph for benefits, one for drawbacks, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the essay. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the opening benefit point about children with skin conditions does not clearly connect to the broad trend of looking younger, and the survey example is awkwardly introduced. Some references, such as “these kind of treatments” and “it,” are not fully clear. Build each paragraph around one explicit main idea, then explain how the example supports it; use linking and referencing more precisely rather than relying mainly on standard transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “facial surgeries,” “skin conditions,” “confidence,” and “sensitive to the sunlight.” These choices make the main subject understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, such as “look young and beautiful,” “the disaster,” “more worse symptoms,” and “heal the person personality.” These expressions sometimes make the intended meaning less natural or precise. Aim for more accurate topic-specific phrasing, such as describing procedures as “cosmetic treatments” and their effects as “adverse reactions.” Also check word forms and natural combinations, for example “regain confidence” rather than “re-gain the confidence.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a relative clause in “skin conditions, which lead them to look old” and a conditional idea in “whenever they get contact with the sunlight.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to read. Examples include “children who born,” “had went through,” and “their skin has been become,” which show problems with verb forms and clause construction. There are also agreement and article errors, as in “these kind of treatments,” alongside punctuation problems where spaces are missing after full stops. Practise forming relative clauses and keeping verb tenses consistent, then proofread each sentence for agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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