Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern era, Individuals have opportunity to buy skin products or spend their money on treatments to enhance their glow. I firmly agree with that view due to several compelling reasons. This essay will not only elaborate on my viewpoints but also provide some relevant examples to support it.

To commence with it, one of the significant reason is that looking younger allows people to increase their confidence level because they feel more satisfied with their appearance. As a result, they may feel more comfortable while meeting with others or participating in social activites. For example, a person who is unhappy with aging signs may use a suitable treatments and feel more confident when they interact with thier collegues and friends.

Moreover, the other crucial benefit some treatments can improve physical problems, not just appearance. For instance, dental treatments, joints treatments and procedures that reduce signs of aging can help people to enhance their overall well-being.

The only disadvantage of that process is high cost. Not everyone can afford these type of things and it can also make someone feel ashamed. Additionally, expectations of not getting such results after spending may also feel disappointed.

In conclusion, although some may face dissatisfaction after using skin products or treatments. I strongly believe that pay for good reviews cosmetics or treatments leads to enhance individuals confidenece level and overall well-being

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you consider access to products and treatments a positive development, despite acknowledging cost and disappointment as drawbacks. You give relevant reasons, including increased confidence and possible physical benefits, and the example of someone feeling more comfortable with colleagues helps illustrate the first point. However, the physical-health argument is only briefly listed, and the disadvantages are not explained in enough detail to fully balance your discussion. The conclusion also repeats your view rather than drawing the reasons together. The response is 22 words below the required minimum, so it does not meet the task’s length requirement; this limits the opportunity to develop and support your ideas fully. Add specific explanation or an example for each main point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting benefits, a paragraph acknowledging disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “As a result,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow, and the reader can identify your main position throughout. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent overall arrangement and shows some features of stronger progression. However, several transitions feel formulaic, particularly “To commence with it” and “the other crucial benefit,” and the second benefit paragraph is very short, so its connection to the argument is not fully developed. The conclusion begins with a subordinate clause that is not properly connected to the main sentence. Use more natural transitions and develop each paragraph around one clearly explained point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of relevant vocabulary, including “confidence,” “appearance,” “aging signs,” “treatments,” and “overall well-being,” which allows you to discuss both personal and physical effects. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “compelling reasons” and “enhance.” However, the range is not consistently controlled: “enhance their glow” is imprecise for the topic, “good reviews cosmetics” is unclear, and “confidence level” is less natural than a simpler collocation. Spelling errors such as “activites,” “thier,” and “confidenece” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural combinations and check spelling carefully; this would make your meaning clearer and demonstrate more flexible vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a reason clause with “because” and a result clause beginning “As a result.” Most of the message remains understandable, which is consistent with some grammatical errors that rarely obstruct communication. However, errors occur in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries. For example, “one of the significant reason” needs a plural noun, while “a suitable treatments” combines an incorrect article and plural. The final paragraph also has a sentence-boundary problem: “although some may face dissatisfaction…” is left as a dependent clause before the next sentence. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and article–noun combinations, and make sure every subordinate clause is attached to a complete main clause.

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