Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Today's population are very sensitive for their look, and it's possible to get many products or invest for treatment that help them to become younger again. Looking good is much attarctive but people should watch very carefully on expiry date and ask surgeon about their experience. In my point of view, it is bad thing because it may harm their skin more than getting younger look for elder ages.

Nowadays, people can easily buy much product by online or visiting beauty store. These product are much running items because it advertise people to make younger skin back. In my personal experience, one of my friend was using beauty product for her skin and caused very bad situation for her because she did not refer any skin doctor and asked them for a great product. Moreover, the market are full good and bad products, we should clarify the date and is this suitable for my skin or not. Many people have different skin like, dry skin, oily skin and wet skin etc. In my hometown, our ladies mostly use natural things like coffee, dry milk and honey which is best for their skin and does not affect their skin at all.

Many cities have lunched beauty store and salon for ladies and man as well, for treatment and surgery. There are some disadvantages of having treatment with surgeon or beauty store staff, if they dont have any experience. For example, micheal jackson is one of biggest super star try make his skin and body more younger and attractive, but without any experience and applied bad product, his skin was completely damaged. At last, there many cases like this, so we should first investigate properly, for making sure they uses good product and have very great hand-on experience.

Overview, people can buy product or pay for treatment but have to investigate and verify the incredient and suitable for skin. For the future, people should natural ingredient unless if they does not effect his/her skin.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that these products and treatments are a bad thing, and you support it with relevant concerns about skin damage, unsuitable products and inexperienced providers. The example of your friend helps illustrate the risk, while the reference to natural ingredients adds a contrasting perspective. However, the response focuses mainly on safety rather than fully weighing whether the wider availability of anti-ageing products is beneficial or harmful. Some claims, such as the account of Michael Jackson, are not clearly explained or supported, and the conclusion introduces advice about natural ingredients without developing why this is the best general solution. Develop the reasons more fully and keep examples precise and directly connected to your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs broadly group product-related risks and treatment-related risks, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “For example” and “At last” show an effort to connect ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the discussion moves from online shopping to a friend’s experience, then to skin types and hometown practices without clearly showing how each point builds the argument. Some references, including “them” and “this,” are difficult to follow, and the conclusion repeats earlier advice rather than drawing the main reasons together. Use clearer topic sentences and more precise referencing to make the line of argument easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “expiry date,” “skin doctor,” “treatment,” “surgery” and “natural things,” so the reader can understand the main subject and concerns. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “hand-on experience.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes meaning less clear. Examples include “very sensitive for their look,” “much running items,” and “great hand-on experience”; “wet skin” is also not the usual term for a skin type. Spelling errors such as “attarctive,” “lunched” and “incredient” further reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural topic phrases and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including a conditional idea in “if they dont have any experience” and a relative clause in “products … that help them.” This shows some effort to vary sentence forms. However, errors are frequent, and complex sentences are often not controlled accurately. For example, “Today's population are” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “These product are” and “the market are” also show agreement and plural errors. Articles and sentence construction are inconsistent in “it is bad thing” and “At last, there many cases like this.” The final sentence, “people should natural ingredient unless if they does not effect,” is difficult to interpret because its verb forms and clause structure are faulty. Practise accurate basic clauses before adding complexity.

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