Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In recent times, there has been a growing trend among people to buy beauty products or pay for certain treatments that could help them look younger. While some people believe that it is a very positive approach, I assert that it is an entirely negative trend which creates unrealistic beauty standards, and people spend hefty amounts to live upto those standards.

People who support this idea of spending money on beauty products and treatments contend that previous people did not take care of their physical appearance as they aged. However, nowadays, people are more conscious of their esthetics and spend huge amounts of money to enhance it and look younger. This makes them feel good about themselves and significantly enhances their social confidence. For instance, when my sister turned 35, she started using anti-aging creams to tighten the pores of her skin and to reduce the appearance of wrinkles. She would often spend a major chunk of her salary on buying expensive cosmetic products.

I believe that aging is a natural phenomenon which cannot be prevented by the use of beauty products. However, certain moisturizers and creams are good to maintain the texture of our skin. Nowadays, certain cosmetic procedures, such as microneedling, dermafacials and botox, have created distorted beauty standard among the public. As a result, many people do not feel comfortable in their own skin and resort to such procedures in the hope of looking beautiful and young. Moreover people spend hefty amounts of money on these beauty products and procedures, and many of them do not have much benefit in preventing the natural process of aging. The marketing campaigns by these cosmetic companies just exploit the customers' insecurities about their appearance.

In conclusion, I reaffirm my conviction that people should learn to age gracefully. Although it is a positive approach to spend money in order to look good, It should never take a toll on someone's mental health. People should never feel compelled to get these beauty treatments so that they can live upto the fake beauty standards of our society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear throughout: you regard the trend as negative because it promotes unrealistic standards and can lead people to spend heavily. You address both sides by acknowledging that treatments may improve confidence, then explaining your concerns about pressure, cost and limited effectiveness. The example of your sister’s anti-ageing creams makes the discussion more concrete. These points are relevant and generally extended, although the supporting discussion sometimes makes broad claims—for example, that procedures have “created distorted beauty standard among the public”—without explaining how widespread this effect is or giving a specific illustration. Develop one or two key reasons with more precise evidence, and make the distinction between ordinary skincare and costly procedures clearer to strengthen the argument further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs consider benefits and drawbacks, and the conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking expressions such as “However,” “As a result” and “Moreover” help show relationships. The contrast between the supportive view and your own position is also easy to follow. At times, though, connections feel somewhat formulaic, and the first body paragraph’s example focuses on spending rather than clearly demonstrating the claimed improvement in confidence. The conclusion repeats several ideas from the introduction and body. To make cohesion more flexible, use pronouns and topic sentences to connect each example directly to the point it supports, and avoid restating the same claim in similar wording.

Lexical Resource: Band 7.0

You show a good range of vocabulary relevant to appearance and social pressure, including “unrealistic beauty standards,” “social confidence,” “cosmetic procedures,” “distorted” and “exploit the customers’ insecurities.” These choices allow you to express the argument with some precision, and the meaning remains clear. There are occasional awkward or inaccurate collocations and word forms, such as “enhance it” when referring to appearance, “tighten the pores,” and “created distorted beauty standard.” “Esthetics” is also less natural in this context than “appearance” or “aesthetic concerns.” Aim for more idiomatic combinations and check singular/plural forms in noun phrases. This would make your vocabulary sound more consistently natural while retaining the useful range already present.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0

You use a range of sentence forms, including complex clauses with “While,” “However” and “Although,” and most sentences are clear and well controlled. For example, “As a result, many people do not feel comfortable in their own skin and resort to such procedures…” combines related ideas effectively. A few grammatical and punctuation slips remain. In “Although it is a positive approach…, It should…,” the second clause should not begin with a capital letter after a comma; use a semicolon or lowercase “it.” The phrase “created distorted beauty standard” needs an article or plural form, and “Moreover people” requires a comma after the introductory linking adverb. Review articles, number agreement and punctuation around sentence connectors to improve consistency.

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