Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is true that most of the people spend money on products which helps them to look younger. Although this trend brings positive aspects for individuals, i think it put adverse impact on their health and beauty.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why some people prefer to considerable money on beauty products. First and the foremost, these days, number of masses spend time on internet, owing to which they are watch many channels where they see different of advertisements so they can easily attract from them as a result, they buy it because their favorite person also use it because they want always follow their footsteps. Along with this,, most of the people want to name and fame in front of friends and relatives in turn of which they not only feel confident but also feel proud therefore, it helps to reduce the stress and depression.

On the other hand, i think that it brings negative approach for people due to few reasons. Firstly, when people spend most of money to buy beauty products, it not only effect on their money but also time because they need to travel for purchasing it. To explain, when people spend a lot of money beauty products, but sometime, it is not suite their skin as a consequence, they can suffer from pimples and red aches on faces in turn of which they feel anxiety due to worse impacts.

To conclude, while it helps to enhance personality and gain confidence among individuals, i believe that it has some downsides for their skin.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You present a clear overall view: the trend can build confidence, but you believe its effects on skin make it harmful. The response also gives relevant reasons, including advertising and the possibility of skin irritation. However, the discussion does not fully answer the broad question about products and treatments that help people look younger: it focuses mainly on beauty products, and the positive point about confidence is asserted rather than explained with a specific example. The claim that these products affect health and beauty is also not developed beyond pimples and redness. To strengthen the response, explain both sides more fully and support each main point with a concrete example or clearer reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion that restates your view. This makes the overall arrangement easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, several ideas are crowded into long sentences, especially the discussion of online advertisements and following celebrities. Linking phrases such as “as a result,” “because,” and “in turn of which” are sometimes repeated or used awkwardly, so the relationships between ideas are not always clear. Separate the advertising point from the confidence point, and use simpler, more precise transitions to make the progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “advertisements,” “confident,” “stress and depression,” and “pimples.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable word-choice or collocation errors make parts difficult to understand. For example, “prefer to considerable money” does not express the intended idea naturally, while “negative approach” and “red aches” are unclear in context. Repetition of “most of the people,” “spend money,” and “beauty products” also limits flexibility. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases, such as “spend a considerable amount,” “skin irritation,” and “cosmetic treatments,” and check that each phrase fits its context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “although,” “when,” and “because,” and the reader can generally identify your main position. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction recur. For instance, “products which helps” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “it put adverse impact” needs a correctly formed verb and article. The long sentence beginning “these days, number of masses spend time on internet” also lacks reliable control of clause structure. Practise writing shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine ideas using one subordinate clause at a time; also check capitalisation of “I” and punctuation.

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