Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Recent days technologies and facilities are improving in society therefore people getting various benefits for their health and skin related products easily. However, few cheaper products attract vast amount of consumers and somehow due to lack of incredients and chemicals it cause some health related issues. Before using some products everyone has to go thorugh from it's incredients.

On the one hand there are so many different brands available in market related to our skins and people are using them for looking young. Because nowadays there is competition going on in between new generations for glowing and different skin textures and for that individuals more likely to use different products and treatments. For instance, rich people like to go to different countries for their skin related treatments because they can afford it very easily. Consequently, they could get better treatment and result by using expensive products.

On the other hand, there are other group who are not a

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response is relevant to the topic and presents some reasons, including the risk that cheaper products may cause health problems and the idea that wealthier people can access treatments abroad. However, it does not clearly answer whether this trend is good or bad: the opening raises a concern, while the example about expensive treatments suggests a benefit, without stating an overall position. The discussion is also incomplete, ending mid-sentence at “there are other group who are not a”. As a result, the ideas are limited and only partly supported. The response is 92 words below the required minimum, which leaves too little space to develop both sides and give a clear conclusion. State your view directly, explain it with specific reasons, and complete the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and two contrasting body paragraphs, and signposts such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help indicate a change in direction. The example about wealthy people travelling for treatment also relates to the preceding point. However, the overall progression is incomplete: the final paragraph stops after “there are other group who are not a”, so the contrast is never explained or brought to a conclusion. Some links are also mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “because” and “for instance.” Develop each paragraph around one complete point, use clear references between sentences, and add a concluding paragraph that restates your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “treatments,” “consumers,” “competition,” and “skin textures,” so the reader can identify the subject being discussed. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “health related issues.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. Examples include “incredients” and “thorugh,” as well as the unnatural phrase “competition going on in between new generations.” Aim for more precise, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, “ingredients” and “competition among younger people” would communicate these ideas more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “Because nowadays…” and a contrast introduced by “On the one hand.” Some basic meaning is clear, but errors occur frequently and can make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “people getting various benefits” is missing a finite verb, while “it cause some health related issues” has a subject–verb agreement error. The sentence “Before using some products everyone has to go…” also needs clearer sentence structure and punctuation. Practise forming complete clauses, checking singular and plural agreement, and using articles and verb forms consistently. Shorter, accurate sentences would help make your argument easier to understand.

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