Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary society, a significant number of individuals want to look attractive and young and for that they are willing to go to any extent. There are a number of beauty products available in the market that claim to keep people young. Furthermore, a number of treatments have also introduced in recent years. This essay will analyze whether it is beneficial or harmful in longer run.

To begin with, in order to retain the youth an individual can go to any extent. There are a number of products and procedures available in the market that claim to enhance the beauty and stop aging. Since, a person feels confident if his appearance is eye-catching. For instance, in the UAE, there is an increase in asthetic clinics in recent years; in addition, they prefer to pay for the treatment like lip fillers, botox, and face lifting. They believe that these treatments will help them to stay young and attractive.

However, there are number of beauty products introduced in the market. Those who cannot afford the beauty treatment prefer to consume supplements. Furthermore, every second day a company introduced a new product claiming to reverse aging; in addition, for the marketing of their products they heir social media influencers. To illustrate, in Pakistan, every influencer claim himself a beauty influencer they show their audience that they are using a particular product and that product has changed their life which is not always true.

On the other hand, those using beauty supplements and choose beauty procedure slowly lose their natural beauty and eventually started to look like plastic; in addition, ultimately lose their features. Such treatments are pricey but does not have lasting effects and a person need to repeat the procedure within a certain time. To illustrate, my friend took lip fillers, at first fillers enhanced her beauty but with time as the effect fades her lips lost the shape and she has to repeat the procedure. Now she has to rely on the procedure.

From my perspective, there should be a balance. One should embrace his true self. Either a supplement or a procedure, a person must be very careful in choosing any of these and instead of choosing such treatments try to have a balanced diet and adopt healthy lifestyle. Since one can slow the aging but cannot stop it and sooner or later all procedures will fada away.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address the question and present a clear, balanced position: appearance-related products and procedures can boost confidence, but people should be cautious and accept natural ageing. Relevant examples, including clinics in the UAE, influencer marketing in Pakistan, and your friend’s lip fillers, help support the discussion. This meets the task well, and the personal example gives your argument a concrete basis. However, the positive case is developed mainly through confidence and attractiveness, while the drawbacks receive more explanation; the essay could assess the overall benefits and harms more explicitly. The conclusion recommends balance but does not fully resolve whether this trend is, on balance, good or bad. A more decisive judgement, supported by developed reasoning on both sides, would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, developed body paragraphs and a concluding recommendation. The examples generally appear alongside the points they illustrate, so the reader can follow the main line of discussion. However, progression is sometimes weakened by mechanical or confusing links. For example, “To begin with” introduces a point about procedures, while “However” then introduces products without a clear contrast; “On the other hand” shifts to drawbacks, but the relationship to the previous paragraph is not fully signposted. Repeated use of “in addition” also makes connections feel formulaic. Some references, such as “those using beauty supplements and choose beauty procedure,” are difficult to track. Use transitions that express the precise relationship between ideas and make each paragraph’s focus clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “procedures,” “supplements,” “influencers,” “balanced diet” and “healthy lifestyle,” and the reader can understand your main points. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “lip fillers” and “reverse aging.” However, noticeable word-choice, collocation and spelling problems reduce precision: “go to any extent” is not the natural expression here, “asthetic” is misspelled, and “heir social media influencers” appears to mean “hire.” Phrases such as “every influencer claim himself a beauty influencer” are also awkward and unclear. Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling and word forms carefully; this would make your vocabulary more effective without requiring unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “Since,” “which” and “as,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction remain. For example, “treatments have also introduced” needs a passive form, while “a company introduced a new product” does not fit the intended repeated present-time meaning. In “a person need to repeat,” the verb should agree with the singular subject; “her lips lost the shape” also needs more accurate article use. The opening fragment “Since, a person feels confident…” is not a complete sentence, and the final sentence has an unclear construction. Review tense consistency, subject–verb agreement and complete sentence boundaries, especially when joining ideas with “since” or “in addition.”

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