Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Due to advancement in medical science there are many ways introduced into the market where humans can look glowing and ageless.

Therapy includes both muscles tonnings by low frequency electric shocks to particular body parts to enhance muscles as well as increasing testosterone into blood streams by injection. Moreover one can also undergoes facials like anti aging, hydra, enzyme, manual lymphatic drainage facial to improve his look. And still there are many effective and ineffective ways are established into the market.

First of all, staying young and fit is everyone's desire. People are judged by their body types and face. And there is also chance of selection of good looking candidate in companies by the human resources. In modeling and film industries good, fair, physically fit people are the first priority to get job. So for long last success one needs to stay in lime light good looking is must, however aging is natural process that is big challenge for be maintain their place in industries.

Here we can see that body and looks is a big investment one have to continuously spend money to stay in the industries where only physical appearance is appreciated. For such people there is no way rather than following treatment. But there are many spectators who are simply following their favorite actors and choosing this type of expensive treatment and spending their whole incomes, thats an alarming situation. Because the people are not getting any returns or benefits by investing their hard-earned money into such therapies.

In conclusion, if somebody is rich enough to pay for this treament for to look younger, thats a good. But on the other side if middle class workers have other priorities that he should look first. Moreover there are ineffective and therapies which provides short term result are also in market which is just victimizing the innocent people of society, that sholud be shut down completely.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a qualified position: treatments may be acceptable for people who can afford them, but can be harmful financially for others. The discussion of appearance-based hiring in modelling and film, and of fans spending their income without receiving a benefit, provides relevant reasons. However, the position is not fully consistent: the opening focuses on treatments, while the conclusion’s “that’s a good” is vague, and the disadvantages receive more explanation than the benefits. The claim that good-looking candidates are selected by companies is also broad and would be stronger with a specific example or qualification. Develop the benefits and drawbacks more evenly, then state clearly when, and for whom, these treatments are beneficial or harmful.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress from describing treatments to explaining appearance-related pressures and then considering their costs. Linking expressions such as “First of all,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion” help signal this movement. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The opening list of treatments does not lead smoothly into the argument, and “Here we can see” does not clearly identify the point being drawn from the previous paragraph. The final paragraph combines affordability, priorities and ineffective therapies without clearly separating these points. Use topic sentences to establish each paragraph’s main claim and make references such as “this treatment” or “such people” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “medical science,” “hard-earned money,” “physical appearance” and “short term result.” These choices help communicate the subject, and some less common terms show an effort to be specific. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling sometimes make the meaning awkward or unclear: “muscles tonnings,” “stay in lime light,” “long last success” and “victimizing the innocent people” are not natural in these contexts. There is also repetition of “good looking” and “treatment.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than adding technical terms whose meaning may be uncertain. Proofread spelling and use more precise language to distinguish cosmetic procedures, medical treatments and products.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, more complex sentences, for example the sentence beginning “But there are many spectators…” and the conditional structure in the conclusion. This gives the response some variety, and the main ideas are usually understandable. However, some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction reduce accuracy. Examples include “one can also undergoes,” “body and looks is,” and “one have to continuously spend”; the final sentence also shifts awkwardly between “workers” and “he.” Several sentences begin with “And,” while the long sentence about spectators and their spending would benefit from clearer punctuation and structure. Practise subject–verb agreement and build complex sentences around one clear main clause.

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