Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, the issue of individuals undergoing surgeries and recieving treatments to look younger has garnered significant attention. while many people considered it as a bad trend, others agrued it is essential to ehance one's beauty. Although there are postive sides to these trend,I strongly agree that it is a bad thing due to the effect it has on human health and the fact that it is financially draining.

One of the major reason i would consider this a negative trend is it's effect on human's life.Body enhancement products and treatments such as Brazilian Butt Lift which involves the removal of fat from areas they are not wnted in order to use it for butt lift has clamed a lot of lives in the quest to look younger. For instance, a famous Nigeria celebrity Cheryl in the year 2023 lost her life this particular surgery. Furthermore, most products that people take to enhance beauty, have been proven to be cancerous by scientists, and will cause many health issues during old age.

Another significant factor to why I consider this trend bad is it's high-cost of maintance. For example, someone who underwent a major surgery will spend nothing less than 20 million excluding the post care expenses. thus causing finiacial burden of citizens.

In conclusion, I strongly consider this trend of purchasing products to look younger a negative thing to do because of the finacial burden and

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You take a clear position, stating that the trend is negative, and give two relevant reasons: risks to health and financial cost. The Brazilian Butt Lift example and the reference to post-operative expenses help make these points concrete. However, the health argument is more developed than the cost argument, which is brief and does not explain wider consequences beyond financial burden. The conclusion is unfinished (“because of the finacial burden and”), so it does not fully summarise your reasoning. The response also falls 13 words short of the required minimum, which limits the opportunity to develop your ideas. To strengthen the response, complete the conclusion and explain each reason with clearer supporting detail or a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “One of the major reason” and “Another significant factor” helps readers follow the argument. However, progression is weakened by abrupt transitions within the health paragraph, and the final sentence stops before completing the conclusion. Some links are also mechanical, particularly the repeated framing of each point as a “reason” or “factor.” Use clearer links to show how evidence supports each claim, and ensure each paragraph develops one complete line of reasoning. A finished conclusion would give the response a more complete overall shape.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “undergoing surgeries,” “post care expenses,” “financial burden,” and “cancerous,” and you attempt more formal phrasing such as “has garnered significant attention.” This gives you a useful foundation for discussing the topic. However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural combinations are noticeable, including “recieving,” “ehance,” “high-cost of maintance,” and “clamed a lot of lives.” Some wording also makes the meaning less precise, such as “human's life” and “products that people take to enhance beauty.” Aim for accurate spelling and more natural collocations, and choose precise terms for procedures, risks, and costs. This will make your argument clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although there are postive sides to these trend” and a relative clause describing the surgery. However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make sentences difficult to follow. For example, “One of the major reason i would consider this a negative trend is it's effect” has problems with agreement, pronoun form, and sentence punctuation. The sentence beginning “Body enhancement products and treatments such as Brazilian Butt Lift” also shifts awkwardly between the procedure and the people affected. The conclusion is incomplete, leaving its final structure unfinished. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, possessives, articles, and sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence for a complete grammatical structure.

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