Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era , people would like to buy many products and pay for the expensive treatments that help them to look younger .This trend is becoming more popular day by day. Although it may provide certain benefits,I believe it is a negative development because it leads to health problems and financial pressure.

On the one hand , this trend is becoming more popular because people are aware of these skin products and expensive treatments mainly from the social media . People want to look younger because it enhances their confidence and self esteem.They look more comfortable and satisfied with their appearance.For instance,People would like to go Korea for their skin treatments because Korean skin treatments are popular among young people.

On the other hand ,there are few disadvantages as well . Firstly , it has negative impact on our health.These skin products have harmful chemicals which causes severe reactions which directly damage the skin .For instance,Botox injections cause severe allergic reactions . People may suffer from infections and scarring caused by cosmetic surgeries Moreover, these products are very expensive . People are spending their salaries on these unnecessary products and treatments to look younger.This creates financial pressure on the people.People can buy useful products with their salaries and can also save the money.

In conclusion, although buying products and undergoing treatments to look younger can improve confidence, I believe that it is a negative development because it can lead to financial difficulties, health risks and unrealistic beauty standards.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you regard the trend as negative because of health risks and financial pressure, and you return to this view in the conclusion. You also acknowledge a benefit—improved confidence—and give relevant examples, including Korean skin treatments and possible reactions to Botox. This addresses the question, but the discussion is uneven: the benefit is explained briefly, while the health and cost points receive more attention. Some claims, such as that these products cause severe reactions, would be stronger with qualification or a clearer explanation of how common or serious the risks are. Develop each main reason with a specific explanation or example so the argument is more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, paragraphs presenting benefits and disadvantages, and a conclusion that restates your position. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” “Firstly,” and “Moreover” helps readers follow the main points. However, some connections feel mechanical, and the first body paragraph shifts quickly from social media awareness to confidence and then to travel to Korea without fully explaining the links. The disadvantages paragraph also contains several ideas in succession, so the health and financial arguments could be separated or connected more explicitly. Use referencing and transitions to show how each example supports the point, rather than relying mainly on fixed linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “self esteem,” “harmful chemicals,” “allergic reactions,” “cosmetic surgeries,” and “financial pressure.” These choices make your meaning clear and show some ability to discuss appearance and health. There are also a few imprecise or repetitive expressions: “skin products” is used broadly, “look younger” recurs often, and “useful products” does not specify what people might buy instead. Some collocations could be more natural and precise, such as describing treatments as “undergoing” them rather than “pay[ing] for” them throughout. Aim to vary key terms and choose more exact phrases for risks, costs, and cosmetic procedures; this would make the argument more fluent and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although it may provide certain benefits” and a relative clause in “products … that help them to look younger.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical and punctuation errors remain. For example, “these skin products … causes” has a subject–verb agreement error, and “it has negative impact” needs an article. The sentence beginning “People may suffer from infections” is not clearly separated from the preceding sentence, while spacing around commas and full stops is inconsistent. Review agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, and proofread punctuation. More accurate control of these features would strengthen the otherwise understandable range of structures.

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