Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, the beauty industry has developed significantly. This trending industry offers a wide range of products and treatments that helps people to look young. Although this trend has some benefits, I belive that it is largely a negative developement.

on the one hand,using these products hepls boost people's self cofidence. Most of people feel confident when they think they look good. For example some women who have wrinkles on their face avoid to go out and face public but when they use these produts and feel confident with their looks they feel more comfortable. Apart from this these produts have benefits for skin as well like using moisturiser and regular sunscream hepls protect sunburing. Therefore these produts helps to gain confidence with better looking skin.

On the other hand these products expensive and complicated to use. Nowadays young people who donot even are in need to use these products start using these after watching advertisments on social media. To get these products they start pressurising their families which they can not afford as these produts are quiet expensive. In this way they make extra financial burden on them. In addition to this, these products comes with side effects as well if not used properly.

To illustrate this many vitamin products have to follow some pattern while using them together if that pattern is not followed then these can have negative effect on people's skin. So peole can not use these produts without proper knoweldge. Thus,people must have proper awarness of what they are using and how they are using.

In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that while these cosmetics give confidence to people to look you, I belive that their drawbacks could not be neglected as they can damage someones apperance without proper use.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you acknowledge benefits but judge the trend largely negative, and the conclusion restates this view. You address both sides with relevant points, including confidence and skin protection as benefits, and cost and possible side effects as drawbacks. The examples about people avoiding public situations and young people influenced by social-media advertising help make the discussion relevant. However, some points are more developed than others: the confidence example is explained, while the claim that products are complicated and can cause side effects would benefit from a clearer, more specific example. To strengthen the response further, explain how these drawbacks outweigh the benefits and connect each example more directly to your overall judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion. The contrast between the two sides is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” guide the reader. Some linking is mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “these products” and “Therefore” or “Thus.” The sentence beginning “To illustrate this” also follows the side-effects point without making the example’s connection fully clear. Use more varied referencing, and organise each body paragraph around a main claim followed by explanation and a directly relevant example. This would make progression smoother and cohesion less noticeable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “self confidence,” “financial burden,” “side effects,” and “advertisements on social media.” However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors are noticeable, sometimes making the reader pause. Examples include “look young” where “look younger” is intended, “face public,” “quiet expensive,” and repeated misspellings such as “produts,” “belive,” and “apperance.” Some expressions are also imprecise: “vitamin products” and “some pattern” do not clearly identify the treatment or instructions being discussed. Build a more accurate set of phrases for appearance, affordability, and safe use, and proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a concession in “Although this trend has some benefits” and a conditional idea about products being used improperly. Meaning is generally understandable, but errors in agreement, sentence structure, articles, and punctuation recur. For example, “products and treatments that helps” should use a plural verb, while “these products expensive” needs a verb. The sentence “Nowadays young people who donot even are in need…” has an awkward clause structure, and the long sentence about vitamin products needs clearer punctuation and clause boundaries. These errors do not usually prevent understanding, but they limit control. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and build complex sentences with clearly separated clauses.

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