Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

gggod

lood younger.

good personsilies

look good in less tym

good impresion in meting and personal life

make persom fwwl good

Many Individuals nowadays are buying different kinds of products to look attractive . Most of them are ready to pay for expensive treatments thatmay help them to look less of their actual age. I believe this can be a postive impact in every person life which i will elaborate in my upcoming paragraphs with relevant examples.

To begin with,there are several advantages of this, one person can carry a good personalitiy by looking good ,therefore less efforts can be made to attract other people towards them. To emplify , by having good looking personality person can make good impression in office meeting,However this can increase a chances of good reputation in professional life.

Another Reason is indivuals can look good in less time. If person wants to attentany wedding they can simply pay for treatment to look attractive in specific time . along with this person in mid fifties can feel good by having good personlitiy if used carefully under doctors supervision

In conclusion, there is postive impact of buying online products to look younger

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear opinion that appearance-related products and treatments have a positive impact, and you offer relevant reasons: making a good impression at work and feeling confident before an event. However, the response addresses the question only partially because these points are briefly stated rather than explained with specific, developed examples. The claim that looking good requires “less efforts” to attract others is unclear, and the conclusion introduces “buying online products,” although the discussion also concerns treatments. The opening notes are difficult to interpret and do not contribute a clear argument. The response is also 54 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop your reasons. Explain the benefits more fully and consider a counterpoint, such as cost or health risks.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning with “To begin with” and “Another Reason,” and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic sense of organisation. However, progression within the paragraphs is limited, and several ideas are joined mechanically or unclearly. For example, the first body paragraph moves from personality to attracting others and then to professional reputation without explaining the links. The phrase “along with this” does not clearly show how the wedding example relates to the point about people in their fifties. Punctuation and spacing also make some transitions harder to follow. Use one main idea per paragraph, explain how each example supports it, and use linking expressions only when their relationship is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “expensive treatments,” “attractive,” “good impression,” and “professional life.” These choices make the general subject understandable. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or imprecise, such as “look good,” “good personality,” and “positive impact.” There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “postive,” “personlitiy,” and “emplify,” which reduce accuracy and sometimes make the reader pause. Some collocations are unnatural: “carry a good personality” does not express the intended idea clearly, and “less efforts can be made” is awkward. Build a wider set of precise expressions for appearance, confidence, and consequences, and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including a reason-and-result structure with “therefore” and a conditional idea beginning “If person wants…”. The main message is usually recoverable, but control is inconsistent, and several sentences contain errors in sentence boundaries, articles, agreement, and punctuation. For instance, “one person can carry a good personalitiy by looking good ,therefore less efforts can be made” joins clauses incorrectly, while “If person wants to attentany wedding” is missing an article and has an unclear grammatical construction. “This can increase a chances” also shows an agreement and article problem. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them accurately with conjunctions. Check articles, singular/plural agreement, and commas before submitting.

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