Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the current years many indiviuals are purchased substantial amount of cosmetic products or expense their money on treatments to maintain their skin for looking younger than their actual age.I considered that it has a numerous determental effects on their body because of the alergic reaction and and over spend their money.

To commence with, recently, it becomes a common tread in the younger generation espectially to spend their money on the make-up products to demostarte them younger. However, it causes the paramount of alergies with them ought to the cosmetic stuffs have distict quantity of chemicals that creates skin rashes and other adverse reaction that make them more uncomfortable with their beauty. For instance, the survey conducted by WHO in 2021 as it depicts that around three quater of people were suffering from the skin problems due the make-over products and expected that these cases will risen up in upcoming years. Hence, spending money on the cosmetic stuffs have more negative impact rather than a positve.

Furthermore, to looks like younger than their real age they over-spend their money on impressive amount of surgeries that creates other issue too. Due to this, it becomes more harder for them to maintain their expense and they are facing numerous mental issues like stress, anxiety, depression and so on especially end of the month when they have tight budget to live their regular life. For example, almost 80% of world population are suffering from cogenitive hurdles that caused by less amount of money for their expenses due to over-spend on useful products like cosmetics. So, continously payment for medical treatments to maintain their beauty and glance are worthless.

In the conclusion, I would say that even though it becomes more easier to purchase the cosmetic stuffs and pay for other treatments to depicts them younger, it has other negative impacts on their body too that cannot be negelected.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider products and treatments for looking younger to have negative effects. You address both cosmetics and procedures, giving reasons related to skin reactions and financial pressure, and you include examples. This covers the task, but the two points are not equally convincing or fully developed. The discussion of possible skin problems is relevant, while the claim that spending on cosmetics causes stress, anxiety and depression needs a clearer explanation of how this happens. The statistics about “three quater” of people and “80% of world population” are presented without context and seem overly broad, which weakens their support. Explain the consequences more carefully and use specific, credible examples to strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “To commence with,” “Furthermore,” and “In the conclusion” help signal this progression, and the reader can follow the main argument. This organisation is effective, though some connections feel mechanical, and a few references are unclear. For example, “these cases” in the first body paragraph refers generally to skin problems, while “Due to this” does not clearly identify whether it means surgery, overspending, or both. Use more precise links between cause and effect, and connect each example directly to the point it is meant to support.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “cosmetic products,” “allergic reaction,” “adverse reaction,” “surgeries,” and “mental issues.” However, frequent spelling errors and inaccurate word choices make the vocabulary less reliable and sometimes slow the reader: examples include “indiviuals,” “determental,” “tread,” and “cogenitive.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “maintain their skin for looking younger,” “impressive amount of surgeries,” and “useful products like cosmetics.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations before choosing more elaborate words. Proofreading spelling and checking unfamiliar vocabulary in context would make your meaning clearer and help you express the argument with greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You try to use both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “that,” and “even though.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “many individuals are purchased” uses an incorrect passive form, while “it has a numerous” has an agreement and article problem. In “the survey … as it depicts,” the clause structure is incomplete, and “these cases will risen up” has an incorrect verb form. Practise building accurate basic sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and review agreement and tense before submitting.

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