Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's rapidly evolving world, purchasing cosmetic products or getting treatments for looking younger has become a considerable public interest, promoting widespread debate regarding its impact on individuals and society. While, some people firmly believe that purchase of these treatments or products is beneficial for them to look young, others argue that it has ample downfalls. From my standpoint, the scenario is a negative development as it is evident that cosmetic goods and treatments are expensive and usually have detrimental effects on people's health and body.

One of the major reasons behind my viewpoint is that the beauty treatments and skincare products are of high cost. To cite an example, detox treatment is used by individuals especially women to remove any kind of fine lines from their face and it's cost is around Rs.50,000 to 1,000,000 in India. Moreover, the results of this treatment are not always certain. As a result, it wastes a lot of money of customers.

Another considerable point is that using many active ingredients or treatments also leads to side effects on users. Some treatments are not suitable for all skin tones and types which imthe appearance of the person. To illustrate, lazer treatment is done to remove the body hair and to have radiant and glowing skin. However, not all customers get positive results from this. Those who have thin body hair are most likely to have burns causing permanent scars on their body. Therefore, these treatments are not for everyone.

In conclusion, I firmly maintain that the beauty products and treatments have several negative effects on people's appearance and on their finances which is mainy due to their high cost along with their detrimental impact on customers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the trend negative because of its financial cost and possible harm to health. Both body paragraphs give relevant reasons, and the examples of a costly detox treatment and laser hair removal help make the discussion concrete. This addresses the question, but the two reasons are not developed equally fully. The cost example includes a price, yet the explanation of why people might still choose such treatments or how the expense affects them could be clearer. The health paragraph identifies possible burns and scarring, but relies on a specific claim without explaining its basis. Develop each point with a fuller cause-and-effect explanation and a more precise example to make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. The progression from financial cost to health risks is logical, and signposts such as “One of the major reasons,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. This organisation is effective, though some linking is mechanical because several paragraphs rely on formulaic transitions such as “To cite an example” and “To illustrate.” There is also a moment of unclear connection in “Some treatments are not suitable for all skin tones and types which imthe appearance of the person,” where the relationship between suitability and appearance is difficult to follow. Use clearer referencing and vary transitions while making each sentence’s link to the main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “cosmetic products,” “detrimental effects,” “fine lines,” “side effects,” and “permanent scars.” These choices allow you to discuss both financial and physical consequences, and some less common expressions show an effort to be precise. However, there are several inaccurate or unnatural choices: “considerable public interest” does not quite convey that the issue is widely debated, “ample downfalls” is an awkward collocation, and “wastes a lot of money of customers” is not idiomatic. Spelling errors such as “lazer” and “mainy” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural collocations and check spelling; for example, describe treatments as “costly” and their outcomes as “uncertain” rather than relying on awkward phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “While some people…” and a result clause introduced by “As a result.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. In “While, some people,” the comma is misplaced, and “it's cost” should use a possessive form. The sentence “Some treatments are not suitable for all skin tones and types which imthe appearance of the person” is structurally incomplete and obscures the intended meaning. There are also issues with articles and phrasing in “the beauty products and treatments” and “which is mainy due.” Review punctuation around introductory clauses, possessives, and relative clauses, and proofread complex sentences to ensure each clause has a clear verb and relationship.

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