Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Humans always been into things that would make them look younger but it is astonizing that compared to not so long probably a decade ago, people now actually been able to buy and pay for treatments. This has been possible due to great advancements in research and development of this products and processes. Everything is getting affordable and reliable. But with all the advancements not only people are being more concerned about their look but also continously being addictive to such things.

Firstly, it is proven that the looks play an important role in first impression as well as gaining self confidance. Better the look which is looking younger more confidently an individual is able to present himself/herself which results in unlocking new potential along with making them standout in croud. For example if an interviewer sees an interviewee's face with no dark circles or stress lines it creates an good first impression.

But, along with those perks, there are adverse outcomes as well, for instance in a contemptory era there are countless cheap copies of this product which are made using low quality chemicles makes an individual look older then actual age. Also this increasing usage of products and treatments are creating an sense of peer pressure to use it compulsory with directly blurs the line between true and enhanced bueaty.

In conclusion, it can be said that people buying products and treatment is a good thing only if it is done out of need rather then some sort of pressure.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear, qualified view: appearance-related products can be beneficial when used from personal need, but pressure to use them is harmful. The points about confidence and first impressions are relevant, and the interviewer example helps illustrate the benefit. You also identify risks from low-quality products and peer pressure. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the claim that treatments can “unlock new potential” is broad, and the consequences of unsafe products could be made more specific. The conclusion restates your position but does not draw together the main reasons. Develop each point with a clearer explanation or example to make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a contrasting paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. “Firstly,” “But,” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the argument. The progression is generally understandable, although some links are mechanical or unclear. For instance, “But with all the advancements not only…” does not clearly connect the ideas, and the sentence about cheap copies moves quickly from product quality to looking older without explaining the relationship. The benefit and drawback paragraphs would be easier to follow if each began with a focused topic sentence and developed one main point at a time. Use referencing and transitions more precisely so the reader can see how each example supports the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “advancements,” “self confidence,” “peer pressure,” and “first impression,” and the meaning is usually recoverable. There are also some less successful word choices and collocations, such as “continously being addictive,” “cheap copies,” and “true and enhanced beauty,” which make parts of the argument less precise. Spelling errors—including “astonizing,” “croud,” and “chemicles”—are noticeable, as are inaccurate forms such as “confidance.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main ideas, but they limit the accuracy and naturalness of the vocabulary. Aim to use familiar expressions precisely, check spelling, and choose specific terms for products, treatments, and their effects.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast with “But” and a conditional conclusion beginning “only if.” However, control is uneven, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make the reader pause. For example, “Humans always been into” is missing an auxiliary, while “people now actually been able” has an incorrect verb form. In “the looks play an important role,” the article is not needed, and “an good first impression” has an article error. Some long sentences also combine several ideas without clear grammatical links. Practise building accurate clauses first, then connect them with conjunctions; careful proofreading for auxiliaries, subject–verb agreement, and articles would improve clarity.

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