Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Today, it is very easy for individuals to afford many beauty products or pay for modern treatment that help people to look more younger than before. Although I believe that this brings confidence among people, this is a negative development because it damages their orignal skin.

On the one hand, buying skin products and treatments may boost people's confidence. When people get older and have lots of wrinkles on their face, skin products are the only one which help them to remove their wrinkles and bright up their skin so that they can look younger among friends and in society, and their exact age can be hidden. For example, in India, many celebrities decide to have a plastic surgery on their face so that they look younger even they are more than 70 years old. However, I beileve that a young apperence plays an important role in society, so everyone is using skin care despite it costs them too much.

On the other side, this brings a negative devlopment among people because it harms their skin. Although people can have a good apperence for limited time period, skin treatments are not for a life-time because these are made by bad chemicals and others materials that are not suitable for people's skin. As a result, people may suffer from many allergies or sometimes, they have to loose their natural beauty due to infection. For example, in developed countries, majority of people are suffering from many health problems because skin allergy directly make a negative impact on their immune system.

In conclusion, although beauty products and treatments can help people to maintain their young age back, it not only harm people's skin, but also they have suffer from some diseases in their old age.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you acknowledge that appearance-related products may increase confidence, but argue that their effects on skin make them a negative development. Both sides are addressed, and the examples about celebrities in India and possible allergies are relevant to the topic. However, some points are asserted rather than explained. For instance, the claim that treatments damage the immune system is not supported, and the link between skin products and “diseases in their old age” needs clarification. The confidence argument is also less fully developed than the health concern. To strengthen the response, explain the mechanisms or consequences more carefully and use examples that directly support your claims, while maintaining your clear overall position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present contrasting arguments, and the conclusion returns to your position. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other side,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the progression. This organisation is effective, and the ideas generally appear in a logical order. Some connections within paragraphs are less smooth, however. The first body paragraph moves from wrinkles and confidence to hiding age and then to the cost of skincare, without fully explaining how these points relate. References such as “these” in the second body paragraph could also be clearer. Develop one main point at a time and use linking phrases to show the relationship between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “wrinkles,” “plastic surgery,” “skin treatments,” “allergies,” and “natural beauty.” These choices make your main ideas understandable. However, the range is limited in places by repeated use of “skin,” “people,” and “look younger,” and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “bright up their skin,” “young apperence,” and “maintain their young age back.” Spelling errors, including “orignal,” “beileve,” and “devlopment,” are also noticeable. These issues sometimes make the reader pause, although the overall meaning remains accessible. Build a more precise set of topic phrases and check spelling and natural word combinations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “Although,” “because,” and “so that.” This allows you to express contrast, cause, and purpose, and your main message is generally clear. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “treatment that help” needs agreement, “it not only harm” has an incorrect verb form, and “they have suffer” uses the wrong verb pattern. The sentence beginning “When people get older” also becomes long and difficult to control. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and divide long sentences when several ideas are joined together.

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