Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, many people buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger which can actually cause more harm than good.

Also, people don't even bother to read description or the materials/chemicals use to produce this products.They get them based on posts online, from peers using it.Many people get them because they want to look younger than their age.

Futhermore,these products has caused lots of hadvoc to human health both physically and internal organs.we can see how there are series of cancer cases and deadly ailment which has led to untimely death for lots of people .

In conclusion, health agencies has lots of work to do on this by banning lots of unregistered products(such as drugs and cream) etc. In order to reduce lots mortality rate and deadly ailment in our country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You take a clear position that these products and treatments can do more harm than good, and you give relevant concerns about health risks and people relying on online posts or peers. However, the response addresses the question only partially: it focuses on possible harm without explaining whether any benefits make this a good thing, and the claims about cancer and deaths are not supported with a specific example or explanation. The conclusion recommends action by health agencies, but does not develop the reasoning. The response is 123 words, so it is 127 words below the required minimum; this leaves too little space to develop and support your ideas. Add a balanced explanation and relevant examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an opening position, supporting points introduced by “Also” and “Furthermore,” and a concluding recommendation. This gives the reader a basic sense of how your ideas relate. However, the progression is limited, as the points are presented briefly rather than developed in a clear sequence, and the conclusion introduces regulation without linking it fully to the earlier claims. Some connections are also unclear, particularly the move from people following online posts to cancer cases. Use separate paragraphs for your position, developed reasons and conclusion, and explain the link between each claim. More precise transitions would make the organisation less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “treatments,” “chemicals,” “human health,” and “unregistered products,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spelling errors make parts difficult to understand. For example, “hadvoc” appears to be an attempt at “havoc,” while “lots mortality rate” does not express the intended meaning clearly. Phrases such as “read description” and “deadly ailment” are also imprecise in context. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling; for instance, describe products as “unregulated” and explain that they may “pose health risks.” This would make your argument clearer and more appropriate for an essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You communicate your main position using mostly simple sentence patterns, and the opening sentence attempts to connect ideas with “which.” However, the range of structures is very limited, and frequent errors affect clarity. Examples include “people don't even bother to read description,” “chemicals use to produce this products,” and “these products has caused,” where articles, verb forms and agreement are not controlled. The sentence beginning “In order to reduce” is also a fragment rather than a complete sentence. Practise forming complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement, articles and plural nouns. Once these basic patterns are more reliable, add a few accurately controlled complex sentences to explain causes and consequences.

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