Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Across the globe, facial features are considered as the most essential part of a human body in terms of beauty. In recent times, individuals can easily spend money on procedures and products which make them look almost half their age.However, In my opinion, it has more negative aspects than positive like creating unreal personality and wasting money just to meet the set standards.

One serious problem that can arise is dissatisfaction about the appearance especially in younger generation. It leads to constant negative talk and self-complaining nature. They try to become a different person by undergoing these surgeries. For example, on social media celebrities with filters do not show their original skin and people become conscious about their skin by comparing it with them. As a result, they feel insecure and underconfident. Furthermore, it creates a sense of fear in them about judgement. This pressure makes them not only depressed but at the same time less motivated for life.

Another issue is that people spend too much money on this. Many brands offer variety of products which are quite expensive. For instance, korean skin care, huda beauty and kay beauty. As, professionally there is a lot of competition to live and look better. However, affordability is also a concern because it develops anger and jealousy in people who cannot afford. Due to this, some try to earn money from any source whether its positive or negative. Although, transformation to make people satisfied with their exterior can make them happy, the drawbacks are more dangerous.

To sumup, In today's era public are opting many treatments to look younger but the pressure it creates in all generation regarding their looks and affordability is scary.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you consider the trend more negative than positive, and both body paragraphs give relevant reasons—appearance-related insecurity and the financial pressure of products and treatments. The social-media comparison example supports the first point, while the discussion of people who cannot afford products adds a second perspective. This addresses the question, and the brief concession that transformation can make people happy shows some balance. However, several claims are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, the link between affordability and people earning money through “any source” is unclear, and the positive side is only briefly acknowledged. Develop each cause-and-effect link and give a more specific example to make the argument more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, two paragraphs present separate disadvantages, and the conclusion returns to the central argument. Signposting such as “One serious problem,” “Another issue,” and “To sum up” helps readers follow the progression. Some connections, however, feel mechanical or unclear. “As, professionally there is a lot of competition” does not clearly explain how competition relates to the cost of products, and “Although” introduces a concession without smoothly connecting it to the preceding point. References such as “it” and “this pressure” could also identify their subject more precisely. Use linking phrases to show the exact relationship between ideas, rather than relying mainly on paragraph-opening signals.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “procedures,” “appearance,” “insecure,” “affordability,” and “transformation.” These choices allow you to discuss both social and financial effects, and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at less common or more specific expressions, but some are inaccurate or unnatural: “unreal personality” does not express the intended idea, “self-complaining nature” is awkward, and “competition to live and look better” is not a natural collocation. “Korean skin care” and the brand examples are also not clearly integrated into the argument. Aim for precise phrases such as “unrealistic beauty standards” and “pressure to maintain a youthful appearance,” and check spelling and conventional forms such as “sum up.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a relative clause (“products which make them look…”) and a conditional structure (“whether its positive or negative”). Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical and punctuation errors recur. For example, “facial features are considered as” has an unnecessary preposition, “In recent times” is followed by a sentence joined without a space after “age,” and “As, professionally…” is an incomplete or incorrectly punctuated construction. There are also issues with articles and agreement in “in younger generation” and “public are opting.” Improve sentence boundaries and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation, especially when beginning a sentence with a linking word. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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