Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the present era, people want to look younger due to the influence of social media. In today's world its often for human beings to purchase more items and also spend more on procedures that support enhancing their look. I discuss both negative and positive aspects of it.

To embark upon, due to globalization and social media people are more concerned about their looks because taking care of the body is part of maintaining good hygiene for instance, people go for a hair transplant as well as dental implant which can help them to raise more confidence in front of public when they look smarter. Also, now a days persons are more active on online platforms so thats by people like to spent more on product which help to reverse their age. these is good for them because they are spending non them self to enhance look

Along with, these habit make them really on productrs some time their are side affets of the treatments which may give opposite results they wnat for example 2024 research by world helath organisations shows that people who go for laser treatment to remove hairs permanently from their body that blocks thheir swet glands which causes skin algeries among 5 persons out 10.Moreover reports shows these habits may also creatyes finacial burden on consumers because the spendimg more on beauty products or treatment can cause suffer them to sacrifice from some important stuff to survive in daily life

To coclude with, spending on taking care of the body and looking younger is good what along with have to take care about the results of particular steps taken also take care of budget we have to spent.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both sides of the question by describing confidence and appearance-related benefits, then discussing treatment risks and financial pressure. Your conclusion also gives a qualified view: these choices can be positive if people consider the results and their budget. However, the position is not consistently clear in the introduction, where you say you will discuss both aspects without indicating whether you consider the overall trend good or bad. Several points are only briefly explained, and the claim about laser treatment blocking sweat glands and causing allergies is difficult to assess because it is presented as a research finding without clear support. Develop fewer points with clearer explanations and relevant, credible examples, and state your overall judgement directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the first body paragraph moves from hygiene to hair and dental procedures, then to online platforms and spending, without clearly connecting these ideas. Linking phrases such as “To embark upon” and “Along with” are either awkward or do not show the relationship accurately, while “Also” and “Moreover” carry much of the linking. Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it in sequence, and use clear references and transitions to show how each example supports that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “procedures,” “dental implant,” “confidence,” “side effects,” and “financial burden.” These choices show an effort to discuss both cosmetic treatments and their consequences. However, the range is limited by repeated general words such as “people,” “look,” and “spend,” and several inaccurate or misspelled forms make meaning harder to follow, including “productrs,” “helath,” “alergies,” and “finacial.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “raise more confidence” and “sacrifice from some important stuff.” Build a more precise set of expressions for cosmetic products, procedures, risks, and costs, and check spelling and collocations carefully so your intended meaning is consistently clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You try to use both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “because” and one that introduces an example with “for example.” However, attempts to combine several ideas often produce faulty structures, and errors are frequent enough to make parts of the response difficult to understand. For instance, “these is good for them because they are spending non them self” has problems with agreement and sentence construction, while “the spendimg more on beauty products or treatment can cause suffer them” does not form a clear grammatical pattern. There are also inconsistent sentence boundaries and missing punctuation. Practise building accurate subject–verb sentences first, then add one subordinate clause at a time; check agreement, articles, plurals, and punctuation when editing.

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