Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It has always been a matter of debate whether we should look younger by using products and treatments or avoid those products to get safe from the side effects of the artificial products. I think people should use in limit to avoid any issue.

The first and main advantage of using beauty products is to boost our confidence or feel comfortable. To elaborate, people may use those products to look younger and glow their skin more, which helps to feel them positive, especially for the older people who works in the offices and they do not like to reveal their age in the company. Therefore, they use expensive treatments on daily basis or weekely basis to take care of their skin or wrinkles. Moreover, this kind of products are also essential for actors or actress not only to give their best look in the upcoming project, but also to impress the audience because if they will not use artificial products, the public may attack on their personality and age.

On the other hand, fake products are entered in the market by the increasing of technology, which has a numerous negative effects on the skin and body such as skin burn, allergy, pimples and so on. Hence, it could create a phobia in their mind and they may not try any beauty product even though when they need it for special ocassions. Moreover, the other disadvantage could be a trust issue between their partner as there are a plenty of treatments in the market where it is impossible to figure out the real or fake beauty of any person. Consequently, it can be a major cause of increasing divorce rate worlwide.

To sum up, people should use any treatment or beauty product when it is necessary instead of on regular basis, but they should buy carefully to avoid fake ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: people may use these products, but should do so selectively and carefully. The confidence and appearance benefits, along with possible skin reactions and relationship concerns, are relevant points. However, some ideas are less fully explained than others. For example, the claim that treatments can increase divorce rates is quite broad and would be more convincing with a clear explanation or a specific example. The discussion of actors and public expectations also overlaps with the earlier point about confidence. Develop fewer points in greater depth, and make the final judgement more explicit about whether the overall trend is good or bad, rather than mainly advising people how to use products safely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph presenting benefits, a paragraph on disadvantages, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “On the other hand,” “Moreover,” and “To sum up” help the reader follow the direction of the argument. This gives the essay a coherent progression, though some connections feel mechanical because several sentences begin with similar additive transitions. There are also places where the relationship between ideas could be clearer: the move from skin reactions to a “phobia” and then to relationship trust is abrupt. Use more precise referencing and explain the link between each claim, so the argument flows through its reasoning rather than relying mainly on signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to appearance and the effects of treatments, including “boost our confidence,” “wrinkles,” “skin burn,” and “trust issue.” This is enough to communicate the main ideas, but word choice and collocation are sometimes inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision. Examples include “get safe from the side effects,” “glow their skin more,” and “fake products are entered in the market.” Some spelling errors, such as “weekely,” “ocassions,” and “worlwide,” also reduce accuracy. Aim to learn common word partnerships and choose terms that express your meaning directly; for instance, distinguish counterfeit products from treatments that are simply artificial or potentially harmful.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “which,” “because,” and “even though.” This allows you to explain causes and consequences, and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “older people who works” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “this kind of products are” does not match the singular demonstrative with the plural noun. In “they may not try any beauty product even though when they need it,” the clause structure is faulty. Review agreement and clause patterns, and check long sentences for clear, complete grammatical relationships before adding further ideas.

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