Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this world of modernization, people are getting attracted with looks only and trying to look young everyday by using different kind of products.I would say this is a good this along with some bad things that i will be talking about in the following paragraphs.

To start with the products and treatments that people are paying for are not affordable but still they like to spend money on them because they want to look more beautiful every single day. Firstly, some people are in that perticular profession that they have to do these things to attract more audiance towards themselves and create more hype and publicity and through these things they are earning enough to spend more and more on beauty treatments and brandnew products. Secondly, there is high rise in the competition around this world in different fields such as actors, beauty specialists, singers and also government workers. They try to keep the healhy and beautiful so that they will look better than others and get compliments. That is the reason that is encouraging them to spend more money on self pampering products to look gounger.

On the other hand, it is not good for people that they are spending more than that they earn and afford. They just try to show off ignoring their financial conditions just to beat somebody else. This might put them into a bad situation where they can be under debt and left with no or less money to feed themselves and their families. To explain more about the demerits of paying more to look younger is their health condition. If people keep continue spending on beauty treatments and products then there are some chances of skin allergies and bad health because of the chemicals used during the treatments. Therefore they should buy products keeping their limits to stay safe.

In the end i would say this is good that people should buy procuts and pay for treaments to look younger in this growing modern and competitive world but to keep themseleves safe by having good knowledge of products they are using.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider spending on products and treatments generally positive, while acknowledging financial and health risks. You address both sides and give relevant reasons, including professional pressure to maintain an appearance and the possibility of debt or skin allergies. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For example, the claim that government workers need to look younger to outperform others is not clearly connected to their work, and the benefits of these products are less developed than the disadvantages. To strengthen the response, explain who benefits and how, and use a specific example to support one or two central points. A more precise conclusion could also weigh the benefits against the risks rather than simply restating your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph presenting reasons in favour, a contrasting paragraph about disadvantages, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To start with,” “On the other hand,” and “In the end” help readers follow the broad progression. However, some linking is mechanical, and the first body paragraph contains several ideas—professional image, competition, and compliments—without clearly showing how they relate. The phrase “To explain more about the demerits” also creates an awkward transition. Improve cohesion by grouping related points, using clearer references to earlier ideas, and making the relationship between each example and your main argument explicit. This would make the progression smoother without relying so heavily on formulaic transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “beauty treatments,” “competition,” “financial conditions,” “debt,” and “skin allergies,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “self pampering products” and “hype and publicity.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “getting attracted with looks,” “create more hype,” and “keep the healthy.” Spelling errors such as “perticular,” “audiance,” “gounger,” and “treaments” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural combinations and check spelling carefully; for instance, describe people as “attracted to appearance” and say they “maintain a youthful image.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional construction in “If people keep continue spending…” and a relative clause in “products that people are paying for.” The overall meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. Examples include “this is a good this,” “people are in that particular profession that they have to do these things,” and “there are some chances,” where sentence construction or grammatical patterns are not controlled. In “If people keep continue spending,” the verb pattern is incorrect, and the final sentence has an incomplete or unclear structure after “but.” Review verb patterns, clause construction, articles, and punctuation. Building accurate sentences first, then adding complex clauses, will improve control while preserving variety.

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