Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this concurrent world, Most of the expenditure goes towards purchasing the items or undergoing treatments to look young. There is an ongoing debate about it as its a good thing or not. According to my perspective, the latter view is appropriate.

First and Foremost, Aging is the unavoidable part of life. Without any qualms, its major impacts could be seen on skin in the wrinkle form or white hair. This is experienced by every individual's once in their whole life. They try to supress the aging effect by applying creams and alot of treatments. This money could be used for other essential purposes like education or healthcare investment. To the pertinent, spending money in education would give bright future for example, 50 percent of expenditure in Families in Europe goes to the children's education more then anything else.

Although everyone likes to look younger for which bunch of new products is witnessed in the market but does it only give advantageous results, nevertheless its catastrophic effects is even adverse side of the products as well as treatments. For instance, Laser treatment is effective for only 2 years and then it feels waste of money as it does not fully cure the problem. Secondly, The treatments can lead to major health issues as a repercussions it can put individual's life in jeopardy. For example, Recently, The Times of India highlights the majority of dissatisfaction results regarding the mass occupation among 50 year old age group towards the laser treatments due to innumerable undeniable effects.

Despite being advantages, Its downside is mainly countable. Spending expenditure on educational institutes would give more remarkable benefits compared to the money spend on treatments. Alterantively, the treatments posses a deterimental landscape to the society

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider the trend mainly harmful, and you give relevant reasons, including the opportunity cost of spending on appearance and possible health risks from treatments. The examples about education and laser treatment help address the question, so the response covers both the judgement and supporting reasons. However, some points are asserted rather than explained. The claim that laser treatment is effective for only two years needs clarification or support, and the reference to a newspaper report is difficult to assess because its findings are described vaguely. The final paragraph repeats the preference for education without adding much development. Explain the consequences of each reason more fully and use specific, credible examples to strengthen the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons, and a conclusion returns to your position. Sequencing phrases such as “First and Foremost,” “Although,” and “Secondly” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is uneven, and some links feel mechanical or unclear. The opening of the second body paragraph begins with a concession but then shifts abruptly to negative effects; make the contrast explicit and organise the paragraph around one clear main point. “To the pertinent” does not clearly connect the education example to the preceding claim, while the conclusion repeats earlier ideas and ends with an incomplete-sounding statement. Use simpler, more precise transitions and ensure each paragraph develops one central idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “unavoidable,” “suppress the aging effect,” “catastrophic effects,” and “jeopardy,” which shows an effort to express ideas beyond basic language. However, several choices are unnatural or inaccurate and sometimes make the meaning harder to follow: “in the wrinkle form,” “bunch of new products,” “mass occupation,” and “detrimental landscape” do not fit their intended contexts. There are also spelling and word-form problems, such as “supress,” “Alterantively,” and “deterimental.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than choosing elaborate phrases. For example, describe “products designed to reduce visible signs of ageing” and “risks associated with cosmetic procedures.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at complex structures, including “Although everyone likes to look younger…” and “This money could be used for other essential purposes…”. These allow you to present a position and connect reasons, but control is inconsistent. Errors include “its a good thing” instead of “it’s a good thing,” “every individual's” where a plural form is needed, and “the treatments can lead to major health issues as a repercussions,” which has problems with number and sentence construction. Capitalisation is also inconsistent, as in “Aging” and “The Times of India” within sentences. Some sentences become difficult to follow because clauses are joined without clear grammatical relationships. Practise accurate articles, agreement, and clause structure while retaining a mix of sentence forms.

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