Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

With the adavancement of technology, there are so many treatments are available that help people to stay young for many years. I think this has both pros and cons that I would like to discuss them in the upcoming paragraph.

First of all, Nowadays, it is so convienent for people to purchase any kind of cosmetic products or get a special treatment on their face and body to look younger than their age. For example, many celebrities go through a surgery to look pretty, attaractive and younger. They know there value in the society, so they focus on their skin, face feature so they can get more and more work in the films.

Secondly, there are so many anti - aging products are availble in almost every cosmetic shop. I think it is good thing for those who love to take care of there body and skin. They have a opportunity to hide there age and rough skin. For example, in these days people are more active on social media and they post their pictures to stay connected with their fans. They buy anti - aging products, face glow cream to hide their wrinkles.

On the other hand, there are some disadavanges of cosmetic products and treatments to look younger. They are so expensive, not everyone can afford a face treatment. Moreover, they have a negative impact on our body and sometimes people feel sick after treatments. For instance, if someone is using a cosmetic product to look younger will effect on their internal body like skin damage, obesity and some serious illness like Cancer due to excessive use of cosmetic products.

In conclusion, I would like to say this has more pros than its cons because it will help people to stay younger than their age. They will have a opportunity of more employement and makes them happy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address the question by presenting both benefits and drawbacks, then give a clear overall view that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. Relevant examples include celebrities using surgery to maintain work opportunities and people buying creams for social media photos. However, the position is not fully consistent: the opening says the issue has “both pros and cons,” while the conclusion gives a stronger preference without explaining why the benefits outweigh the health and cost concerns. Some points are also under-developed, particularly the claim that looking younger creates more employment; explain which jobs this applies to and why. Develop the health risks with a more precise, relevant example rather than making broad claims about obesity or cancer.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, paragraphs on benefits and disadvantages, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the main stages. However, the progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the two benefit paragraphs overlap by discussing cosmetic products and appearance. Some links between ideas are unclear: the celebrity example moves from appearance to social value and film work without fully explaining the connection. The introduction also promises to discuss both sides but does not clearly preview the final position. Group related points more tightly and use pronouns and linking phrases only when their references are clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “anti-aging products,” “cosmetic products,” “treatments,” and “negative impact.” This is enough to communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several expressions are repeated, especially “look younger” and “products.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice problems, such as “adavancement,” “convienent,” “att aractive,” and “disadavanges,” which reduce the accuracy and polish of the writing. Some collocations are unnatural, for example “hide their age” and “face glow cream.” Aim for more precise phrasing and check spelling carefully; alternatives such as “reduce visible signs of ageing” and “skin-brightening cream” would express these ideas more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “so,” and “if.” The main message is generally understandable, but errors occur in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and possessives. For example, “there are so many treatments are available” incorrectly combines two verb structures; write “many treatments are available.” In “They have a opportunity,” the article should be “an,” and “They know there value” needs the possessive “their.” The sentence beginning “if someone is using a cosmetic product” also has an unclear construction and should be revised to show the intended cause and effect. Practise checking each sentence for one clear subject and verb, then review articles and possessives.

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