Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

These days it has become possible for individuals to purchase cosmetic products or pay for treatments that assist them to look younger. It is a negative thing because investing to look younger is costly and it may have long-term harmful results on an individual's skin.

Paying for treatments or buying cosmetic products to look younger can be expensive. Various branded products are pricey, and they may not have long-lasting effects, so people need to spend their hard earned money for skin therapies or buying products. This would not only reduce their disposable income but also fade away their natural beauty. For instance, Laser treatment is highly priced, and people have to save a substancial amount to afford this therapy.

There are some products or treatments which may not suit individuals skin and may result in damaging the skin.If proper care is not taken during or after the face treatment, it can damage the face of individuals instead of making them younger. Every cosmetic products do not suit every skin type, so men and women need to be cautious while selecting a product for thier skin. For instance, wrongly applying a face cream on the sensitive skin when the cream was made for the oily skin, resulting in acne, which would need medication.

To conclude, it is absolutely a bad idea to look younger by purchasing cosmetic products and indulging in face treatments because these alternatives are quite expensive, and it may have some ill effects on a person's skin in the long-run.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider appearance-enhancing products and treatments a negative development, mainly because of their cost and possible harm to the skin. Both reasons are relevant, and the examples of laser treatment and a cream unsuitable for sensitive skin help illustrate them. This meets the task, but the ideas are not equally developed: the cost paragraph explains the effect on disposable income, while the claim that spending can “fade away their natural beauty” is unclear and not supported. The skin-risk paragraph gives a more specific example, though it could explain how common or serious such outcomes are. To strengthen the response, develop each reason with clearer explanation and support, and make the conclusion reflect the argument without introducing a broad claim about all such choices.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. The progression from financial cost to possible skin damage is easy to follow, and phrases such as “For instance” help signal examples. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. In the first body paragraph, “This would not only reduce their disposable income but also fade away their natural beauty” links two effects without explaining how they relate. The second paragraph also moves quickly from treatment risks to product selection. Use clearer referencing and transitions to show how each example supports its paragraph’s main point, and organise the explanation before adding the example. This would make the cohesion more flexible and the progression more consistently smooth.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss the topic, including terms such as “disposable income,” “laser treatment,” “sensitive skin,” and “long-term harmful results.” These choices make the main points understandable, and you attempt some topic-specific language. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, which limits precision: “fade away their natural beauty” does not clearly express the intended effect, and “save a substantial amount to afford this therapy” is less natural than a more direct cost expression. There are also spelling errors, including “substancial” and “thier,” and some repetition of “products,” “treatments,” and “skin.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling; varying repeated terms will also make the argument sound more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “If proper care is not taken… it can damage the face” and a result clause in the final example. Most meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors and punctuation slips are present. For example, “individuals skin” needs a possessive form, “Every cosmetic products” has a singular–plural mismatch, and the sentence beginning “For instance, wrongly applying…” is a fragment rather than a complete sentence. There is also a missing space after the full stop in “skin.If.” These issues do not generally prevent understanding, but they reduce accuracy. Practise checking possessives, agreement, and complete sentence structure, while continuing to use varied sentence patterns.

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