Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Cosmetic surgeries and makeup products are in high demand these days. However, people react differently to the effects of this aspect. Some people believe it is beneficial, while others emphasize on its downside. This essay will discuss both the sides and argues that it has adversely affected the consumers.

Health concerns arise due to mass usage of products on skin. The ingredients used in cosmetics have harmful chemicals and this often leads to acute diseases such as skin cancer and many more. Likewise, it is seen that animals are being misused. In order to lab check the products, species of animals are harmed. This eventually results in killing of such animals like rats,'they are the prominent species in makeup manufacturing industry'.

The cost of getting a treatment done is quite costly. When running in a rat race and to be better than others, individuals often get treaments done. For instance, botox and fillers were normally used by famous personalities in the past. however, this trend has changed and commoners have also started opting for these ones.

On the contrary, it helps in boosting confidence. People can work without hesitation and discomfort. For examples, when presenting themselves in front of interview panel or meetings, the face card helps in adding confidence. Addtiontally, it is a necessity in a some jobs. For example, the requirement of few profession is looks. Therefore, to get selected, one must follow makeup routine or certain surgeries in order to look attractive and impressive.

To conclude, this trend has badly affected the animals and health of an individual. However, one must acknowledge that makeup and other treatments helps in enhancing the beauty.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address the question by presenting drawbacks and benefits, then conclude that the trend has harmful effects overall. The discussion of health risks, animal testing, cost, and confidence is relevant, and examples such as Botox and fillers help illustrate the points. However, the position is not fully consistent: the introduction says the essay will discuss both sides and argues against the trend, while the conclusion acknowledges benefits without clearly weighing them against the harms. Some claims also need fuller explanation or support, particularly the link between cosmetics and skin cancer and the claim that appearance is necessary in certain jobs. Develop these points with clearer reasoning and more specific, balanced examples to make your response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for drawbacks and benefits, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of discussion easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “Likewise,” “For instance,” and “On the contrary.” At times, however, the connections are mechanical or unclear. “On the contrary” does not quite fit the shift to benefits, and “this aspect” in the introduction has an imprecise reference. The animal-testing point also moves abruptly from testing products to killing rats. Use more precise referencing and transitions that show whether you are adding a point, contrasting ideas, or giving an example. A clearer link between each paragraph and your overall position would strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “cosmetic surgeries,” “harmful chemicals,” “boosting confidence,” and “Botox and fillers.” These choices make the subject clear, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “emphasize on its downside,” “lab check,” “face card,” and “the cost … is quite costly.” There are also spelling and word-form errors, including “treaments” and “Addtiontally,” which reduce precision. Aim for natural, accurate combinations rather than more elaborate phrasing: for example, say “emphasise its disadvantages” and “test products in laboratories.” Proofreading and learning vocabulary in context would make your ideas more fluent and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while,” “when,” and “in order to,” and most of the meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless affect accuracy. For example, “This essay will discuss both the sides and argues” mixes verb forms; “treatments helps” has subject–verb disagreement; and “in a some jobs” has an incorrect article pattern. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly the lower-case “however” after a full stop and the quotation marks around the comment about rats. Review agreement, articles, and parallel verb forms, and check sentence boundaries and punctuation. More consistent control of these patterns would make your varied sentence structures clearer.

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