Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, it is already possible to many people to choose to buy products or pay for treatment to look young. It is because there is a readily available things to do so.

Some people prefer to buy products that would make them look young because they want to try it themselves. Others may even allot a significant amount of time to try the products they buy for themselves. These people might find buying the products is cheaper than paying for the treatment.

On the other hand, there are people who prefers paying for the treatment thank buying products. Maybe because when you pay for the treatment, you have other people to do the job for you. You will just lay down on a chair and voila, treatment will be performed and you will look young without a sweat. Though it may be expensive to others, but in this option, they feel more relaxed. As a matter of fact, some would feel this as a reward and a treat for themselves after working so hard.

But for me, whatever is the option you may choose, as long as it makes you happy and will give you the satisfaction that you are looking for, it doesn't matter if you will buy the product or pay for the treatment. Afterall, it is not about how you acquire the thing, but it is about how you feel after having it. Nothing can replace the feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction, not even money or any material thing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response is relevant to the topic and gives a personal view: the writer says either option is acceptable if it brings happiness and satisfaction. It also distinguishes between buying products and paying for treatments, with reasons such as lower cost, convenience, and feeling rewarded. However, the central question asks whether this trend is good or bad, and the essay mainly compares the two ways of looking younger rather than evaluating the effects of the trend. The final position is also broad and does not explain possible benefits or drawbacks for individuals or society. To strengthen the response, state clearly whether the trend is positive or negative, then develop that judgement with specific consequences and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear paragraph structure: it introduces the topic, discusses products, contrasts treatments, and ends with the writer’s opinion. The progression from “Some people” to “On the other hand” helps readers follow the comparison, and the conclusion returns to the writer’s view. However, the organisation follows the two purchasing options more than the task’s good-or-bad question, so the overall argument does not build towards a fully supported judgement. Some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly “Though it may be expensive to others, but…” and the repeated use of “because.” Make the paragraph purposes more directly argumentative and use clearer links between each reason and the final position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the main ideas, and phrases such as “readily available,” “significant amount of time,” and “feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction” show attempts to express more than basic opinions. The contrast between products and treatments is generally understandable. However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise, including “allot a significant amount of time,” “lay down on a chair,” and “without a sweat.” “Look young” is also repeated rather than varied, and “treatment” could be specified more precisely. These limitations make the language less flexible and occasionally distract from the argument. Aim for natural collocations and vocabulary that directly evaluates the trend, such as “cosmetic procedures,” “appearance-related products,” and “boost self-confidence.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes both simple sentences and attempts at longer structures, including a conditional-style statement beginning “as long as it makes you happy” and a contrast introduced by “Though.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but errors occur often enough to limit control. For example, “it is already possible to many people” has an incorrect sentence pattern, “there are people who prefers” has subject–verb disagreement, and “you will just lay down” uses the wrong verb form for the intended meaning. The sentence “Though it may be expensive to others, but…” also combines contrasting structures incorrectly. Practise accurate clause patterns, agreement, and verb forms, then check punctuation and sentence boundaries in longer sentences.

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