Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Every individual only live once and it is an obligation to look after yourself. Cosmestics have taken over healthy lifestyles and habbits however only a few are still religious to the natural way of living. I strongly believe that it is a bad thing to pay for treatments to look younger for various reasons that are going to be discussed below.

Going an extra mile to acquire services that makes one look younger is quite expensive. Due to economic hardships, many people start looking for these treatments to cheaper places. For example, there have been a lot of reported death cases of individuals who have been travelling to Turkey to get surgeries or treatments to look young. Surgeries like mommy makeover or dental treatments are very expensive in the United Kingdom. The prices are double or tripple the ones you get in Turkey. Most of the people then opt for cheaper options resulting in death or adverse events.

In addition, treatments that makes you look young might cause serious diseases in the long run namely skin cancer. Studies has shown that most skin cancer disease are caused by use of chemical substances. Most of these treatments have chemicals in it, thus why it is not a good idea to go for these treatment to look younger.

However, acquiring treatments to look younger plays an important role to some individuals as it boosts their confidence and correct some disabilities. For example, some go for surgeries to correct their disability and one could have had injuries before .

In a nutshell, the benefits of mantaining a healthy lifestyle and looking natural outweighs the benefits of paying the for treatment to look young . It also avoid the complications faced when you pay for such services.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you consider paid treatments to look younger a bad thing, and you give relevant reasons, including cost-related risks and possible health consequences. The example of people travelling from the United Kingdom to Turkey helps illustrate the financial argument, while the final body paragraph acknowledges benefits such as confidence and correcting disabilities. This covers both sides of the question and meets the task well. To make the response more fully developed, explain the evidence behind the claim about skin cancer and clarify how the examples support your overall judgement. The counterargument is also brief, so expanding it and then explaining why the disadvantages still outweigh it would make your reasoning more complete and persuasive.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, separate paragraphs present disadvantages and a counterpoint, and the conclusion returns to your position. Connectors such as “In addition,” “However,” and “In a nutshell” help signal the stages of the argument. Some links between ideas are less clear, though. For instance, the move from expensive treatments to deaths in Turkey needs a more explicit explanation of how lower prices lead to unsafe care. The final paragraph also repeats the main position without drawing together the specific reasons. Use clearer referencing and more precise transitions between claims and examples, and develop each paragraph around one fully connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “economic hardships,” “adverse events,” “skin cancer,” and “boosts their confidence.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some topic-specific language is attempted. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “religious to the natural way of living,” “look young,” and “correct some disabilities.” Spelling errors, including “Cosmestics,” “habbits,” “tripple,” and “mantaining,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural phrasing and check spelling carefully; for example, use “committed to a natural lifestyle” and “correct a physical impairment.” This would make your meaning more precise and your vocabulary more controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a cause-and-effect construction with “Due to economic hardships” and a contrast introduced by “However.” The main argument remains understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur across the response. Examples include “Every individual only live once,” “services that makes,” and “Studies has shown”; these should be “lives,” “make,” and “Studies have shown.” There are also awkward constructions such as “it also avoid the complications,” where the subject and verb do not agree. Review subject–verb agreement and build complex sentences carefully, checking each clause for a clear subject and correctly formed verb.

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