Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays everyone wants to look younger and beautiful. This is becoming easier due to availability of variety of beauty and self care products along with asthetic clinics that are helping the people by providing their services. This essay will delineate that it is not a good thing to invest your efforts or money for this purpose.

First and the foremost important, people are under the influence of social media. There are a lot of companies which are advertising their products through some famous actors. People spend their lot of money in buying such products which are not as effective as they start expecting from them after watching the advertisemnets. This is just wastage of the time and money without proper consultation. When they did not get require results, get disappointed. They start looking for other option and repeat the same mistake.

In the second place, price of these products are very high which is beyond the affordability. Mostly the youngsters are the victim of this scam and they invest in buying such products rather than paying attention on improvement of their diet or to adopt some healthy habbits which are the main factors in providing them a younger and fresh look. Last but not the least, there are a lot of asthetic clinics working here and in foreign too. Their treatments are also very expensive but effects are just for certain time. Some of the treatments are very painful.

In conclusion, I would like to say that spending your money in doing these useless things is just not benficial. One should try to adopt some healthy habbits and have some healthy diet. It will be more helpful not only in giving fresh and younger look but also for better health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider spending money to look younger a bad thing, and the conclusion restates this view. You give relevant reasons, including misleading social-media advertising, high costs, temporary results and painful treatments, and you suggest healthier habits as an alternative. These points address the question, but some are asserted more than explained. For example, the claim that young people are “the victim of this scam” would be stronger with a specific example or explanation of how the products mislead them. The point about clinics is also brief. To develop the response further, explain the consequences of these concerns and support at least one point with a concrete example, while acknowledging that some treatments may benefit people.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from advertising and wasted spending to affordability and clinic treatments is easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “In the second place” and “In conclusion” to guide the reader. However, some linking is mechanical, particularly the sequence “First and the foremost important” and “Last but not the least.” Connections between claims could be clearer: the shift from young people’s spending to diet and healthy habits would benefit from an explicit explanation of the contrast. Some references, such as “they” in “When they did not get require results,” are not fully clear. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each reason and its supporting detail more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “social media,” “advertising,” “affordability,” “consultation,” and “treatments,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more specific expressions, such as “younger and fresh look.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, which limits precision: “invest your efforts or money for this purpose,” “paying attention on improvement,” and “effects are just for certain time” do not sound natural in context. Spelling errors such as “asthetic,” “advertisemenets,” “habbits,” and “benficial” are noticeable. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully; more accurate phrasing will make your argument sound clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “companies which are advertising their products” and a conditional structure in “When they did not get require results.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction recur. For example, “price of these products are” should have a singular subject and matching verb, while “When they did not get require results, get disappointed” lacks a clear subject and uses an incorrect verb form. “There are a lot of asthetic clinics working here and in foreign too” also needs a more controlled construction. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and verb, and use complex structures only when you can control their grammar.

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