Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In todays era, many people wanted to look younger so they buy a large amount of product or pay for treatment that will help them achieve it. I completely believe this is a good thing because it can help them bring back their confidence and can still look young again.

Buying products or paying a treatment to make them look younger can regain their confidence which can be beneficial to them. It allows them to go outside without feeling anxious or worried about what other people may think about them. As a result, this will reduce the bullying or harassment into our society. For example, a person that was once getting bullied by other people just because of how they look can walk outside their house again with confidence because of a single product or treatment.

Moreover, getting look young again helps you interact with other people because of your beauty. Furthermore, more people tend to get more attracted to a younger person than the older ones. In addition, getting older will makes you lose confidence and will result to a depression that may lead to a suicide. According to a research by Dr. William Johansenn, their are about 500,000 people who committed suicide for the past 5 years throughout the world just because they feel and look old.

In conclusion, buying products or paying for a treatment have so many benefits to those people who wanted to look young again. It is a good thing because it has a positive impact into our society that will reduce suicide and regain their own confidence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider appearance products and treatments beneficial, mainly because they may restore confidence. The response stays on topic and gives relevant supporting points, including feeling less anxious in public and the example of someone who had been bullied. However, some claims are not fully explained or are too broad. For instance, the link between looking younger and reducing bullying across society needs clearer reasoning, and the claim that ageing can lead to suicide is supported by a statistic whose relevance and reliability are not established. Develop each main reason with a more specific explanation or a credible, carefully connected example to make the argument more convincing and balanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “As a result,” “Moreover,” and “In addition” help signal relationships between ideas. At times, however, the progression is mechanical or the connection between points is unclear. The second body paragraph moves from social interaction to attractiveness and then to depression and suicide without explaining how these ideas connect. References such as “this” in “this will reduce the bullying” could also be more precise. Group related points together and use transitions that show the exact relationship between each claim and its support.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including terms such as “confidence,” “anxious,” “harassment,” and “committed suicide.” There are also attempts to express more complex ideas about social effects. However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “getting look young,” “interact with other people because of your beauty,” and “a positive impact into our society.” Repetition of “look younger” and “confidence” also limits flexibility. Aim to learn common word partnerships and choose language that describes the point precisely; for example, explain how appearance-related treatments may affect self-esteem rather than making broad claims about beauty or social acceptance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “which,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless reduce accuracy. Examples include “many people wanted” where the present-tense generalisation calls for “want,” “a person that was once getting bullied,” and “getting older will makes you lose confidence.” There are also agreement and article errors in “their are” and “paying for a treatment have.” Review subject–verb agreement, verb forms after modal verbs, and article use. Greater control of these patterns, alongside your existing attempts at longer sentences, would make the argument clearer and more polished.

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