Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

It has become possible for people to spend money to buy and pay for beauty treatments to enhance their beauty.I believe this change brings postive benefit for them.

First reason why money spent on making facial features better is bring confidence.Not everyone is born with perfection.when people feel not satisfied with their outlooks or body features,they oftenly spend money on bnenefit of such trend is toeconomic benefits to cosmetic industry

To sum up,I would like to reiterate that the freedom of chosing products and paying for treatments are more benefical of people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

Your position is identifiable: you believe spending on products and treatments to look younger is beneficial, and you mention confidence and possible economic benefits to the cosmetics industry. However, the response addresses the question only minimally. The first reason is unfinished—“they oftenly spend money on”—so the reader does not learn what people do or why this supports your view. The economic point is also incomplete and difficult to interpret. You provide no relevant example or developed explanation, and the conclusion simply repeats your opinion. The response is 92 words, below the required 250-word minimum. To improve, explain both benefits with clear cause-and-effect reasoning, include a specific example, and consider a drawback before reaching a supported conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening states your view, “First reason” introduces a point, and “To sum up” signals a conclusion. These markers give the reader some sense of the intended structure. However, the body does not develop into clear, connected ideas. The sentence beginning “when people feel not satisfied” breaks off, and the following phrase about economic benefits is joined to it without a clear transition. As a result, the progression from confidence to industry benefits is difficult to follow. Paragraphing is also limited, with the main discussion compressed into one block. Use separate paragraphs for each reason, complete each idea, and connect them with clear links such as “For example” and “Furthermore.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “beauty treatments,” “facial features,” “confidence,” and “cosmetic industry,” so the general subject is apparent. There is also an attempt to express an evaluative position through “positive benefit.” However, the range is limited, and several word choices, forms, or spellings make the meaning unclear: “outlooks” is not natural for physical appearance, “oftenly” is not standard, and “bnenefit” and “postive” are misspelled. The phrase “more benefical of people” is also difficult to understand. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For instance, use “appearance,” “boost self-confidence,” and “benefit consumers” in suitable sentences.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few different sentence patterns, including a reason statement and a subordinate clause beginning “when people feel…”. Some basic meaning can be understood, but control is inconsistent. For example, “First reason … is bring confidence” lacks a grammatical verb pattern; “when people feel not satisfied” has awkward clause construction; and “the freedom … are” shows disagreement between the singular subject “freedom” and the verb. Several sentences also run together without appropriate punctuation, as in “perfection.when” and “features,they.” These problems make parts of the argument hard to follow. Practise complete subject–verb sentences, agreement, and punctuation, then build longer sentences only when the clauses are clearly connected.

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