Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniable that these days, many products and treatments are available on the market that help people look younger. In my opinion, although this approach can help many people, there are other natural ways to look younger.

The trend of looking younger and pretty even in old age has increased in the past few years.

First of all, buying these products or getting treatments helps people to stay confident. To explain, when hair starts getting grey, anyone, even he/ she is in his/her 30s, starts losing their confidence in front of others. Therefore, to feel confident all the time, people have started using artificial treatments to look younger.

Secondly, looking younger is everyone's dream nowadays. These products and treatments have reduced the fear of getting old. Earlier, people used to worry about their increasing age; in today's era, people remain stress-free because they know that by using some treatments for example, Botox and face lifting can make them even more younger.

However, I think that by using natural ways, people can keep themselves younger and healthy. First, they should pay attention to a balanced diet, which helps individuals to stay fit and younger for longer time without consuming any medicine. Second, people should strike a balance between personal and work life. As we notice these days, people are busy with their work life and do not pay attention to themselves. If they go for a walk every day and spend some time with their family each day, they can stay away from stress, which leads to a healthy lifestyle.

In conclusion, I believe that while these artificial products and treatments can give happiness for a short period of time, natural methods can be beneficial for looking younger for a longer time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you acknowledge that appearance treatments can boost confidence, but conclude that natural methods are better for lasting benefits. You address both sides and give relevant examples, including grey hair, Botox, diet, walking and time with family. This meets the task, though some points are more fully explained than others. For instance, the claim that treatments have “reduced the fear of getting old” is asserted rather than supported with a clear explanation or example, and the benefits and possible drawbacks of buying products or paying for treatments are not explored in much depth. To strengthen the response, develop each main reason with a specific consequence or example and make the comparison between artificial and natural approaches more balanced and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction, paragraphs presenting the benefits of treatments and natural alternatives, and a conclusion that restates your view. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “However” help readers follow the main stages. However, the linking can feel mechanical, and the opening sentence of the second paragraph—“The trend of looking younger and pretty…”—does not clearly signal how the paragraph will develop. Some references are also broad: “these products and treatments” could be tied more specifically to the examples being discussed. Improve progression by making each paragraph’s central point explicit, then linking each supporting explanation directly to it, using a wider range of natural transitions rather than relying mainly on numbered markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “artificial treatments,” “balanced diet,” “confidence,” and “healthy lifestyle.” These choices make your main ideas clear, and examples such as “Botox” and “face lifting” show some topic-specific vocabulary. There are, however, several imprecise or unnatural expressions, including “look younger and pretty,” “for longer time,” and “even more younger.” The repeated use of “younger” and “people” also limits variety. Aim for more precise collocations and vary how you refer to the topic—for example, distinguish cosmetic procedures from skincare products, and describe their effects as temporary or lasting. This would make your argument sound more fluent and exact without changing its meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses in “although this approach can help many people” and “which leads to a healthy lifestyle.” Most sentences communicate their meaning clearly, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “anyone, even he/ she is in his/her 30s” has an awkward pronoun construction, while “can make them even more younger” uses an incorrect comparative form. In “without consuming any medicine,” the subject of the phrase is unclear, and “for longer time” is missing an article. Review comparative forms, pronoun agreement, articles and the placement of introductory phrases. More consistent control of these patterns, alongside your existing complex sentences, would improve accuracy.

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