Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Today, it has been so easy for individuals to afford any kind of beauty products and spend money for treatments that help them to look more attractive and younger. This is happening because people have more job opportunities, and I believe that this is a negative thing for people.

To commence, one of the reasons for buying beauty products is employment. Most individuals are now working in different sectos because the government creates jobs for citizens according to their ability. As a result, although some people do not have the high wage jobs, they are still able to afford for education and their beauty treatments. For example, in developed countries, many people usually spend 20% of their monthly income on purchaing beauty items so that they can hide their real age and look more younger than before.

Moving towards the bad thing is that this badly damages people's skin. most of beauty products are made by chemcials which are suitable for people's skin. when people regularly use these products on their skin, this not only damage their skin, but also they may have to suffer from a skin allergy. As a result, people are not able to have their natural beauty back, despite spending a huge amount of money on medical treatment. For example, in India, there is an actor around 82 years old, he had a plastic surgery to look young. But the treatment went wrong, he died after four weeks of treatment.

In conclusion, although money makes possible for people to buy any kind of product and treatment to look younger, people should not ignore the side effects of using these products. Therefore, people must use natural things, such as oil and home made beauty products rather than made by chemicals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider the growing use of products and treatments to look younger a negative development. You give relevant reasons, especially possible skin damage and the risks of cosmetic surgery, and the examples help illustrate these concerns. However, the response does not fully explain the relationship between employment and the question: the first body paragraph mainly describes why people can afford products, rather than showing whether this is good or bad. The claim about spending 20% of income and the story about the actor would also be stronger with clearer explanation or more reliable detail. Develop each main point by explaining its consequences and linking them directly to your judgement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the ideas are generally understandable. Linking expressions such as “As a result,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help show relationships between points. However, progression is not always clear: “To commence” introduces employment, but this paragraph does not clearly establish why employment makes the trend negative. “Moving towards the bad thing” is also an awkward transition, and the second paragraph combines general skin-product risks with a separate surgery example without a clear bridge. Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main argument, then connect each example explicitly to that argument. More precise referencing would also help the reader follow the discussion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “beauty treatments,” “skin allergy,” “natural beauty,” and “side effects,” so the main ideas are usually clear. There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “monthly income” and “plastic surgery.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “afford for education,” “look more younger,” and “made by chemicals.” Spelling errors such as “sectos,” “purchaing,” and “chemcials” also reduce accuracy. Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully; this will make your meaning more precise and help you express the risks and benefits with less repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including a concession with “although” and a result structure with “As a result.” These attempts allow you to explain causes and consequences, and the overall meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, however. For example, “this not only damage their skin” needs subject–verb agreement, while “people are still able to afford for education” has an incorrect verb pattern. The sentence beginning “But the treatment went wrong” is also joined awkwardly to the preceding sentence, and “most of beauty products” needs an article. Review agreement, articles, verb patterns and sentence boundaries, then proofread longer sentences to ensure that each clause is correctly connected.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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