Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

As the medial system is advancing day by day, with numerous treatments and medicines; many people are urged to purchase products or went through certain treatments which makes them look younger. I strongly oppose to use such products as there are handy negative points campare to the benefits of the treatments and products to look younger.

Firstly, with growing medical sector, there are medication available for almost every small problems. For a person who wants to look younger there are certain age lifting treatments and medicine which they have to consume on regular basis. As a result the person will look younger then its actual age but this will not last long. Here I will provide you an example of my neighbour aunty, she went through treatments for the cause with medicines which helped her look beautiful but that didn't remained for her life, resulting in interior and exterior body difficulties like her lips turned black. Another issue related to this treatment is the person has to suffer from many health related problems like obesity, skin rashes, vision problems once they start reducing this meds or avoid them due to uncertain reasons.

On the other hand, instead of those treatments one can age back naturally by adapting various options, as one can do yoga everyday which not only benefit your looks but also it boost your immune system, and doing it regularly raise your time of living. Other than this, a person can join any sport of their choice or any activity like swimmimg, dance or music. The best way to look younger can be just be yourself and spend time with your loved once which ultimately benefits you and your health.

As a conclusion, despite availability of treatments and products to look younger try to avoid those and use the natural option which not onlly helps you but also protect you from many health problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you oppose treatments and products intended to make people look younger. You address both the potential harms and alternatives, and the neighbour’s experience gives the argument a relevant example. This covers the task, but the discussion is uneven: the risks receive more explanation, while the benefits of natural activities are mostly asserted rather than demonstrated. For instance, you say yoga can “raise your time of living” without explaining the claim, and the point about spending time with loved ones is not clearly connected to looking younger. To strengthen the response, develop each main reason with a clear explanation and a specific, credible example, and acknowledge why some people may value these treatments before explaining your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting approaches, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “As a conclusion” help readers follow the broad progression. However, some links are mechanical, and the relationship between ideas is not always clear. The first body paragraph moves from treatments to temporary results, a personal example, and several possible health problems without clearly separating or explaining those points. In the second paragraph, “Other than this” introduces activities, but the connection between these and looking younger remains loose. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each supporting detail explicitly to the paragraph’s main claim; vary linking expressions and make references such as “this treatment” precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “treatments,” “medicines,” “immune system,” and “health-related problems,” so the reader can understand the general argument. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make parts of the response difficult to interpret. “Age lifting treatments” is unclear, “interior and exterior body difficulties” is not a natural description, and “reducing this meds” is imprecise. Spelling errors such as “campare,” “swimmimg,” and “onlly” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of expressions for cosmetic procedures and their effects, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For example, use “cosmetic procedures,” “side effects,” and “stop taking the medication” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a result clause beginning “As a result” and a relative clause in “which helped her look beautiful.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction recur. For example, “many people … went through” shifts tense awkwardly, “treatments and medicine which they have to consume” has an unclear reference and agreement, and “that didn't remained” uses an incorrect verb form. The opening sentence is also incomplete after the semicolon. These errors sometimes make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then check tense consistency, subject–verb agreement, and verb forms such as “didn’t remain.”

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