Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, modern science has experienced massive growth in terms of defining human looks according to their preferences. People buy many products or even get treatments to look younger than their age. I consider it a negative trend because synthetic treatments or chemical products can damage the skin.

Firstly, from my perspective, ageing is a natural process; people should accept the way they look as they age. Perhaps they consider it a look which is not accepted by society; this psychological trap is a significant factor that tends to push people to buy products. Many believe people can buy these products only if they are recommended by a dermatologist, but it has also been proven in studies that companies print fake labels of dermatologist-approved products. People also buy the products due to the influence of celebrities and their advertisements, and hence the public consumes the product assuming that they will also look like the celebrity.

Another Substantial reason for not following this trend is its financial cost-driven nature. Many beauty products on the market are expensive; people have to buy them frequently to get a look they are craving. For instance, in recent years, people have become enthusiasts of Korean Glass skin; many people have gone to doctors to get plastic surgery done. In many countries, especially in Western countries, the cost of plastic surgery is high, so people travel to other countries where it is inexpensive to get it done. People should have a meticulous approach in selection and know the worth of it, even though it is inexpensive but travelling to another country is time-consuming and can sometimes hamper your monetary funds as well.

It not only affects you financially but also leads to many skin diseases.

In conclusion, I consider these treatments or products harmful in the long run, as it can affect you financially and physically. If you want to improve your health, then we should stick to a natural diet and natural remedies, which have the least negative effects and also sustainable for the long duration.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you regard products and treatments intended to make people look younger as harmful. You give relevant reasons, including possible skin damage, social pressure, misleading product claims and financial costs, and the example of people travelling abroad for surgery helps illustrate the expense. This meets the task well, with some ideas more fully addressed than others. The discussion of social pressure and celebrity influence is relevant but would benefit from a specific example or clearer explanation of its effects. The final suggestion to use natural diets and remedies also needs support, since it is introduced without explaining why these are safer or effective. Develop each main reason with a clear explanation and a concrete example to make the argument more complete and convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the main reasons are generally grouped sensibly. Linking expressions such as “Firstly,” “Another… reason,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes uneven: the first body paragraph moves from accepting ageing to social pressure, product labels and celebrity advertising without clearly showing how each point connects. The second paragraph also shifts from cost to Korean beauty trends, surgery abroad and skin diseases. Some references, such as “it” in “It not only affects you financially,” are not fully clear. Use topic sentences and more explicit links between claims, explanations and examples, while avoiding a list-like sequence of points.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “psychological trap,” “dermatologist-approved,” “plastic surgery,” and “monetary funds.” These choices allow you to discuss social influence, treatments and cost, and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at less common language, but some phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “massive growth in terms of defining human looks,” “cost-driven nature,” and “enthusiasts of Korean Glass skin.” “Another Substantial reason” is also an awkward collocation and the capitalisation is unnecessary. Aim for precise, natural combinations rather than choosing formal-sounding words that do not fit the context. For example, describe the industry as “the growing beauty-treatment market” and people as “increasingly interested in Korean glass-skin trends.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “even though” and “which,” and most sentences communicate the intended meaning. Some grammatical errors remain. In “Perhaps they consider it a look which is not accepted by society,” the pronoun “they” has no clear reference; “some people may feel that society does not accept their ageing appearance” would be clearer. The sentence beginning “People should have a meticulous approach…” has an awkward “even though” clause that is not grammatically integrated with the main point. In the conclusion, “these treatments or products… as it can affect you” has a plural-to-singular agreement mismatch, and “also sustainable” needs a verb (“are also sustainable”). Check pronoun reference, agreement and clause structure, especially in longer sentences.

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