Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Every individual wants to look younger these days. People are spending money on cosmetic products and on medical remedies to avoid looking aged. I think people should accept the reality and should not try to escape from it.

In my opinion, applying cosmetic products to enhance the look for functions, parties or occations is good. However, applying things to create a permanent impact can lead to permanent damage. The excitement to look younger is real. People are even doing surgeries and taking injections.

Everyone has to become old. It is in the nature of human being. We should not try to reverse it or change it. There are multiple scenario where the blindly trusted products gave permanent burn to the skin. Even the experienced doctors do not take guarantee of results. So why should we take risk? Isn't is better to be like what we are?

One of my friend was model. He was doing great until someone suggested him to start a treatment that will help him hide his wrinkles. So he tried it and unfortunately, the outcome was not positive. He is regretting the decision now.

In conclusion, I would say that natural glamour is good and you can add some temporary products to look beautiful if you want. Everyone has to be old someday; living it is the solution. I have seen people who tried multiple things to stop looking aged which led them to even worse in there old age. So my suggestion is to live until you have time and stop thinking about these things.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear throughout: you argue that people should accept ageing and avoid treatments that may cause harm, while allowing temporary cosmetic use. This addresses both the positive and negative sides of the question, and the example of your former model friend gives the argument a relevant personal illustration. The discussion of possible skin damage and uncertain medical outcomes also supports your view. However, some ideas are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the distinction between temporary products and permanent treatments could be clarified, and the example could explain more specifically what treatment was used and how it affected him. Developing these points and acknowledging a possible benefit, such as improved confidence, would make the response more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your position, the body paragraphs present reasons and an example, and the conclusion restates your advice. The progression from cosmetic use to risks and then to a personal case is generally easy to follow. You also use linking expressions such as “However,” “So,” and “In conclusion.” At times, though, connections are mechanical or the reference is unclear. For example, “There are multiple scenario where…” follows the point about ageing without a clear link, and “these things” in the conclusion is broad. Some ideas in the final paragraph repeat earlier claims rather than advancing the argument. Use more precise references and make each paragraph’s central point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate your view, including relevant terms such as “cosmetic products,” “medical remedies,” “surgeries,” “injections,” and “permanent damage.” There are also attempts at more expressive language, such as “escape from it” and “natural glamour.” However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, which limits clarity and range: “enhance the look for functions” and “gave permanent burn to the skin” do not express the intended meaning naturally. “Occations” and “there old age” also show spelling or word-form control problems. Aim for precise, conventional phrasing when discussing treatments and their effects, and check spelling carefully. A broader range of accurate terms would help you express distinctions between cosmetic products and medical procedures more flexibly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mixture of simple sentences and some more complex forms, including “Although” is not used, but you do link clauses with “until,” “where,” and “which.” Most of the message remains understandable, and the direct questions in “So why should we take risk?” help convey your stance. However, some errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “There are multiple scenario” needs a plural noun, “One of my friend was model” needs plural agreement and an article, and “Isn't is better” has an incorrect auxiliary structure. In “Everyone has to become old,” the intended meaning would be clearer with a more natural construction. Review these patterns and vary complex sentences while keeping their grammar controlled.

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