Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, beauty products and treatments to look yournger are increasing rapidly. There could be more disadvantages of this trend rather than benefits. However, I will also discuss the other side of this argument.

To begin with, there are various bad things about the trend that more people are paying for treatments and products in order to look young. The beauty treatments or products are costly due to their rising demand in the market. These products are getting popular through celebreties or social media influencers who are getting money for promotions or they want to conitnue career with their looks. As a result, middle class people may spend their money on these treatments under the influence of social media marketing. Low Income families could spend their life saving due to the glorification of these treatments. Moreover, the trend to look younger may set the beauty standards in the society negatively. People who could not afford to look younger may be treated badly. For instance, these beauty standards are strictly followed by university students and pupils who may not afford could be bullied by their peers and it leads to depression or drop out from the university or college.

On the other side, this trend gives confidence to people in the society. People who are expert in beauty products or treatment are making money from their skill.

In nutshell, these beauty products to look younger can increase the confidence of people. However, there glorification and advertisment through social media may influence low income individuals negatively such as wastage of their saving or high beauty standards among people which may lead to bullying.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You give a clear overall view that the trend has more disadvantages, while acknowledging a benefit: increased confidence. The discussion of social-media promotion, financial pressure and bullying is relevant, and the example involving students helps illustrate the possible effects. However, the positive side is only briefly mentioned: the claim that skilled people can earn money is not explained or supported, and the confidence point could also use an example. Some claims, such as people being treated badly for not affording treatments, would be stronger with clearer explanation of how this happens. Develop both sides more evenly and make the final judgement explicit about why the disadvantages outweigh the benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph focused on disadvantages, a shorter paragraph on benefits, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other side,” and “However” make the direction of the argument easy to follow. Within the main paragraph, ideas generally progress from cost and advertising to social pressure and bullying. Some linking is mechanical, though, and the relationship between points is not always fully explained. For example, the move from beauty standards to university bullying would benefit from a clearer connecting sentence. The benefits paragraph is also very brief, so the essay feels uneven. Use transitions more naturally and build each paragraph around a developed central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “beauty standards,” “social media influencers,” “rising demand,” “glorification,” and “depression.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the meaning is generally clear despite some inaccurate or awkward expressions. For instance, “continue career with their looks” and “people who are expert in beauty products” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also spelling errors such as “yournger,” “celebreties,” “conitnue,” and “advertisment.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce accuracy and polish. Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully; using a few well-controlled phrases is more effective than relying on awkward wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses with “who,” “which,” and “who may not afford,” and most of the argument remains understandable. Some grammatical errors occur, particularly with articles, agreement, and sentence construction. For example, “there glorification” needs a possessive form, while “people who are expert” requires a different grammatical construction. The sentence beginning “For instance” also becomes difficult to follow because the clause about students who cannot afford treatments is not clearly connected to the main clause. Work on building complete, clearly linked clauses and checking agreement and articles. Greater control of these structures would make the argument easier to read.

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