Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Everyone want to look like teenagers in these day whether by purchasing expensive products and services. we are going to put some light on why or why not it is wonderful idea.

first and foremost, we will commense aboutwhy it had been proved to wonderful. it has been seen to improve self confidense in older generations.

firstly, imporoving their social life with their good looks seems to improve their relations with friends and family. secondly, work life, young looking had proven to grow more in carreer than old looking people due to creating sence of young people's modern ideas. thirdly, we feel more healthy, looking young is all related to health because no matter number of age but biological age seems to less than actual age.

however, it does not mean this not means everthing is positive, there are plenty of negetive effects too such as checmicals, every treatmeant use them, which would cause health issue in future, it has been proven by world health organization that such products are just a short term fix. By the time we stop using them it might make someone even more older than could have been looking without these products, by this is not all about this, these cure to look young may put you on risk to cancer casuing agents additionally, they requiers big chuck of your hard earned income every month.

in breif, individuals should avoid these and focus more on appearing young by maintaing healthy lifestyle rather than these threatments, even if somone takes the treatment, it should be stictly all natural but not any celebrated remedy.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear final view: people should favour a healthy lifestyle over treatments, with natural options as a possible exception. The benefits you identify—confidence, social relationships, career prospects and perceived health—are relevant, as are the risks of chemicals, future health problems and expense. However, several points are asserted rather than explained. For example, the link between looking younger and career growth needs a specific reason or example, and the claim about biological age is unclear. The negative side is more developed than the benefits, and the reference to the World Health Organization is not supported with detail. Develop each main point with a clear explanation or example to make the response more convincing and balanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a contrasting paragraph on drawbacks, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “firstly,” “secondly,” “however,” and “in brief” help readers follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and some links are unclear. The benefits paragraph lists several claims without showing how they connect, while “By the time we stop using them” and “by this is not all about this” make the sequence of ideas difficult to follow. Paragraphing is appropriate, but clearer sentence-to-sentence links and more precise referencing would improve cohesion. Use transitions to show relationships between ideas, rather than relying mainly on a list of points.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “self confidence,” “social life,” “biological age,” “health issue,” and “hard earned income.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning less clear. For instance, “grow more in career” does not express career advancement naturally, and “put you on risk” is not the usual phrase. Spelling errors such as “confidense,” “negetive,” and “treatmeant” are also noticeable. Build a bank of accurate topic phrases and check spelling; prioritise natural combinations such as “advance in their careers” and “pose a health risk.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrast introduced by “however” and a conditional idea about stopping treatment. Nevertheless, control is uneven, and errors in agreement, sentence construction, articles and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to understand the point. For example, “Everyone want” needs subject–verb agreement, while “it does not mean this not means” contains a faulty construction. The opening also begins a new sentence with a lowercase “we,” and several long sentences join multiple ideas without clear punctuation. Practise building accurate sentences first, then combine related ideas using clauses such as “although” or “because.” Check agreement and sentence boundaries during proofreading.

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