Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A wide range of beauty products and treatments are now available in the market targeting those who wants to preserve their youthful appearance. These ranges from low to high end products which makes it affordable for all the income groups.

The rising affinity towards these kind of product is mainly because of their promotions. One of the postive side about this is that, all these products reported to boost self confidence. Society treats and values people based on their looks and appearance. Attention and validation from society is crucial for some people. This also boosted the sales of beauty products and treatments. For example, most of the movie actors are ambassoders of most the products. Especially Korean actors openly shared about their treatment details which includes plastic surgery and more. These statements invited more ordinary people to be more concious about their looks. People started to reply on these products and the results were very obvious.

In contrast, there were reports about addictions to these treatments that has a negative affect. In the name of preserving beauty, some started to do extreme modification surgeries ended up loosing themselves. This includes one of the famous celebrity fashion designer on the list who is now facing a lot of health issues as an after effect. Now a days, these products and treatments are accessible even for low income people so everyone is using all the products available to them without thinking about the possible side effects.

To conclude, like every other thing usage of beauty products and treatment has both good and bad effects. Using it with proper consultation will help you to maintain their beauty and if not it might leads to serious side effects.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both sides of the question and give a clear overall view: beauty products can support confidence, but excessive use may cause harm. The discussion of social validation and celebrity promotion is relevant, and the example of a designer experiencing health problems helps illustrate the risks. However, the positive side is explained more fully than the negative side, which relies mainly on one general example and does not clarify how common or serious the consequences are. The conclusion recommends professional consultation, but this practical point could be connected more explicitly to your overall judgement about whether the trend is good or bad. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation and a specific, well-supported example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph on benefits, a contrasting paragraph on risks, and a conclusion. The shift signalled by “In contrast” is helpful, and examples are generally placed alongside the ideas they support. Some connections between sentences are less clear, however. For instance, “This also boosted the sales” does not specify exactly what “This” refers to, and the move from celebrity promotion to ordinary people’s reliance on treatments is abrupt. The conclusion also introduces consultation without developing it earlier. Use more precise referencing and build each paragraph through a clear sequence of claim, explanation, and example; this would make the progression smoother rather than relying mainly on basic linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “youthful appearance,” “self confidence,” “extreme modification surgeries,” and “side effects.” These choices make the subject clear, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce precision: “rising affinity” is not a natural way to describe growing interest, “reply on these products” appears to mean “rely on,” and “postive,” “ambassoders,” and “concious” are misspelled. Phrases such as “all the products available to them” are also broad and repetitive. Aim for more natural collocations and check spelling carefully, while retaining the useful topic-specific vocabulary you already use.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “products and treatments that help them” and a contrastive structure beginning “In contrast.” Meaning is generally understandable, but some errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “those who wants” should use a plural verb, while “These ranges … which makes” has inconsistent agreement. In “treatments that has a negative affect,” the verb should agree with the plural subject; “if not it might leads” also combines an incorrect verb form with an unclear clause structure. Some sentences are joined awkwardly, such as the sentence about extreme surgeries and their consequences. Review agreement and conditional patterns, and punctuate or restructure long sentences to improve control.

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