Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, the use of cosmetics and facial treatments have become popular worldwide. People do not want to look older and they spent lot of money to buy such products. In my opinion, it is a negative approach as these products and treatments are expensive and include harsh chemicals which are detrimental for human health.

One of the major reasons is that these products and treatments are treacherous for human skin. This is because the chemicals used in these products provide fine skin for a small duration and make the skin look more wrinkled after by damaging the skin cells . For instance, people get attracted by watching some advertisements, where they watch famous actors using these products and spend their money on buying these products without consulting with any skin expert. As a result, people get influenced to have such treatments regardless of their health.

Another significant reason is that these products come at a huge cost. People spend their hard earned money on having expensive treatments, which could be spent on some other important requirements. Some people take loans for buying these products and treatments only for looking younger. There are solid evidences that cosmetic industry is one of the most growing industries in the world. Therefore, companies are launching different products for people to help them look younger.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that such expensive treatments and products are harmful for the society . People should use natural treatments and avoid using products which are full of chemicals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction and conclusion: you consider products and treatments for looking younger a negative development. You give two relevant reasons—possible harm to the skin and high cost—and support them with examples such as advertising influencing consumers and people taking loans. This addresses the question, and the reasons are generally relevant. However, the health argument relies on broad claims about chemicals and skin damage, while the cost argument would benefit from explaining more specifically how spending affects individuals or families. The reference to the cosmetic industry’s growth does not fully show why the trend is harmful. Develop these points with clearer explanation or a concrete example to make the response more fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. Sequencing is easy to follow, and phrases such as “One of the major reasons” and “Another significant reason” help signal the progression. Some linking is mechanical, however, and connections between claims could be clearer. For example, “There are solid evidences” and “Therefore” do not establish how industry growth itself proves that the products are harmful. The repeated use of “these products and treatments” also makes the writing less smooth. Use more precise referencing and explain the relationship between evidence and your point, while retaining this effective paragraph structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including “detrimental,” “influenced,” “hard earned money,” and “cosmetic industry.” These choices communicate your main ideas, and you attempt some less common vocabulary. At times, however, word choice or collocation is inaccurate or unnatural: “treacherous for human skin” does not express the intended meaning, and “provide fine skin” is unclear. “Solid evidences” is also an incorrect form and collocation; use “strong evidence,” since “evidence” is uncountable. Repetition of “products” and “treatments” limits flexibility. Aim for precise topic vocabulary and check whether phrases sound natural in context, rather than choosing a more unusual word that changes or obscures your meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “as,” “because,” and “where,” and most of the message remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence punctuation. For example, “the use of cosmetics and facial treatments have become” should use “has,” because the subject is “the use”; “they spent lot of money” needs “spend a lot of money” for a general present-tense statement. In “make the skin look more wrinkled after by damaging,” the structure is faulty and should be recast. There are also stray spaces before punctuation. Review agreement and tense, and simplify complex sentences when needed to keep their structure accurate.

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