Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Individuals often purchase products this days or pay for treatment that helps them looks younger. In my opinion, it is good to purchase or pay for treatment that helps you someone looks younger.

The world are advancing towards technology that helps us to look younger through healthcare products and drugs, In advance countries like Britain it is relatively common among the population. Because they're exposed to the technology.

In other words, Applying products that chelp an individual looks younger can be very dangerous to our health when is done inappropriately. i have seen in several occasions where an individual purchased a cream to lighten and soften her skin which turns out to damaged the skin instead. Many have lost their their lives during the process of looking younger. For example, the formal first lady of Nigeria Stella Obasanjo who died during a plastic surgery abroad. which causes grief to the tire country at large and her family in particular.

While many has enjoyed the benefits of this new technology that helps someone looks younger despite the disadvantages associated with it. In my own idea it is good to embrace innovations that helps our life in one way or another, but during the process you have to be careful where you purchase your products or pay for your treatment, make sure to products are purchased in a good mall and a good hospital that is government approved to avoid counterfeit products or quack treatment.

Purchasing good products or paying for a treatment that makes us looks younger is very good, because the more younger you look the more energy you have to Carry your daily endeavors. For example, After child birth women often take roots and Herb with help reduce their stomach and makes them loye

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall preference for using products or treatments to look younger, and you include relevant examples, such as skin damage from an unsuitable cream and Stella Obasanjo’s death during surgery. However, the position is not consistently explained: the opening supports these treatments, while much of the response focuses on their dangers, and the final paragraph returns to benefits without fully resolving this contrast. Some claims, such as looking younger giving people more energy, need clearer reasoning or support. To strengthen the response, state your position precisely—for example, that it can be beneficial when medically safe—and develop both the benefits and risks in a balanced, connected way.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has identifiable paragraphs and attempts to move from the growing availability of treatments to risks and then to your opinion. Examples also help readers follow individual points. However, the overall progression is difficult to track because the argument shifts between benefits and dangers without a clear structure, and the opening does not prepare the reader for the risk-focused paragraph. Linking phrases such as “In other words” and “While” do not always show the relationship between the ideas that follow. The final example is cut off, leaving the conclusion incomplete. Plan a sequence such as position, benefits, risks, and a concluding judgement, and use transitions that accurately signal contrast, cause, or example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “healthcare products,” “plastic surgery,” “counterfeit products,” and “government approved,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, especially “helps someone looks younger” and “products or pay for treatment.” Some word choices or combinations are unclear or unnatural, such as “the more younger you look” and “carry your daily endeavors.” Spelling and word-form slips, including “chelp,” “loye,” and “tire” where “entire” appears intended, also reduce clarity. Build a more precise set of expressions for cosmetic treatments, safety, and appearance, and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “While many has enjoyed the benefits…” and a conditional warning about using treatments carefully. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “The world are advancing,” “helps them looks younger,” and “when is done inappropriately”; these show problems with subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and missing subjects. Sentence boundaries and capitalization are also inconsistent, as in “abroad. which causes…” and the lowercase “i.” Practise accurate subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, then divide long or incomplete sentences into clear clauses and proofread punctuation.

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