Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A greater proportion of people have many options to spend money to buy beauty products or pay for procedures that makes them to look younger. I believe that it is a negative development because of lack of awareness and financial burden.

One of the main significant reason why this is a bad development is that people do not have proper knowledge about the products. Moreover, people usually buy different types of creams for their face and body brightness without knowing their side effects such as redness, itching and skin burning. Some individuals have also purchase items like micro-needling pen and do at home and results in more damage to their superficial layer of face. For example, in Asian countries people are too conscious about their dark complexion that they have been drinking shots of glutathione without knowing their harmful effects on kidney. Therefore, people buy cosmetics to makes them more younger.

Another important factor is that these procedures are expensive to continue because it require a lot of money. Furthermore, when people take different type of treatments such as Carbon Laser and Mesotherapy then they have to pay larger amounts for single session. In this way, it makes them burdenized financially. For instance, in some countries, customers usually start taking their skin treatments results in stress development to arrange money for next session. Thus, these expensive procedures prevails psychological stress in society.

In conclusion, it is not good thing to buy cosmetics for reducing skin aging effects because of inadequate information and not cost effective for majority of people. So, I believe that it is a bad thing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the availability of anti-ageing products and treatments a negative development. Both reasons—limited awareness of possible harm and financial pressure—are relevant, and the examples of skin creams, at-home microneedling and costly treatments help illustrate them. This gives the response a solid answer to the question. However, the first reason receives more specific explanation than the second, where the link between treatment costs and psychological stress is asserted rather than fully shown. The conclusion repeats your view but could synthesise the two arguments more precisely. To strengthen the response further, explain how consumers can be misled or harmed and develop the financial example with a clearer cause-and-effect chain.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting separate reasons, and a conclusion. The progression from health risks to financial consequences is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” make the organisation visible. This is a coherent arrangement, though some linking is mechanical and a few connections are unclear. For example, “Therefore, people buy cosmetics to makes them more younger” largely repeats the preceding point rather than advancing it, while “customers usually start taking their skin treatments results in stress development” makes the relationship between treatment and stress difficult to follow. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each sentence’s connection to the main idea explicit through clearer referencing and logical explanation.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “side effects,” “micro-needling,” “superficial layer,” “financially,” and “psychological stress.” These choices help communicate the subject and show attempts to use more specific language. Some less common expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, however: “face and body brightness,” “burdenized financially,” and “procedures prevails psychological stress” do not express the intended meanings naturally. There is also repetition of “people,” “buy,” and “treatments,” which limits flexibility. Aim for precise collocations and check word forms: for example, describe products as “skin-lightening creams,” say that costs “place a financial burden on consumers,” and explain that procedures “can cause psychological stress.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “that,” and “when,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly in agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction. For instance, “procedures that makes” should be “procedures that make,” and “it require a lot of money” should be “they require a lot of money” or “it requires a lot of money.” In “people have also purchase items,” the verb form is incorrect; “have also purchased” is needed. The construction “do at home and results in more damage” also lacks a clear grammatical subject. Review subject–verb agreement and ensure each clause has a complete, correctly formed verb phrase.

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