Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this rapidly developing world, people spend their money for cosmetic products or treatements that makes them look young. Some people belive that it is good choice, while others argue that doing gym and balance diet can help individuals to look good however spending money for that is not better option and I firmly agree with this viewpoint.

First and foremost, the most compelling arguement is that it is natural process that makes people look aged. Although there are good cosmetics available in the market, people should avoid them. This kind of medications damage skin and at the long-run people look more dull than they really are. For example, skins are really smooth and when people apply chemical prodcuts to skins it burns the skin cells. Therfore, it is evident from the facts that people should avoid to use this kind chemical products.

Furthemore, another argument is that spa and some other treatments are also available to the market. Eventhough, balance diet can solve majority of all the problems, people spend money to this treatments centre. This kind of services require regular maintaince and cost really more than expected. When people stop this treatments they look whatever they are. So better option would be that to do gym. For example, regular exercise can help individuals to look fit and fine however no one can change natural process.

To conclude, whilst cosmetic productds and treaments provide short-term solution, their detrimental effects cannot be overlooked. Hence, I believe that this is waste of money and it is imperative for individuals to find comprehensive and transparent solution to look good like regular exercise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider spending money on products and treatments to look younger a poor choice, and you support this with concerns about skin damage, ongoing costs, and the natural ageing process. These points are relevant, and the examples about chemical products and exercise help address the question. However, some ideas are asserted rather than explained. For instance, the claim that cosmetics burn skin cells is broad and would be more convincing with a qualified explanation or a specific example. The discussion of exercise and a balanced diet also shifts toward alternatives without fully comparing their benefits with the treatments in question. Develop each main reason more precisely and acknowledge that effects may vary between products and treatments.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a conclusion that restates your view. Sequencing phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Furthermore,” and “To conclude” make the overall progression easy to follow. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. The sentence beginning “Although there are good cosmetics available” does not clearly explain how the concession relates to the claim that people should avoid them. Likewise, “Eventhough, balance diet can solve majority of all the problems” is difficult to connect logically to the point about treatment costs. Use linking expressions only when the relationship is clear, and make each paragraph’s central reason explicit before adding examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “cosmetic products,” “treatments,” “detrimental effects,” and “regular exercise,” and the reader can generally understand your position. However, the range and control are limited by repeated general wording such as “look good,” “this kind of,” and “people spend money.” Several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts less natural, including “spend their money for,” “at the long-run,” and “regular maintaince.” Spelling errors such as “treatements,” “belive,” and “Therfore” are also noticeable. Build a more precise vocabulary for discussing appearance and costs, and check spelling and common word partnerships carefully. This would make your arguments clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a concession with “Although” and a contrast with “whilst,” so there is some variety in sentence structure. Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur in several places. For example, “products or treatements that makes” needs a plural verb, while “it is good choice” needs an article. The sentence “Eventhough, balance diet can solve majority of all the problems” has an incomplete or awkward clause structure, and “When people stop this treatments they look whatever they are” is grammatically unclear. Review subject–verb agreement, article use, and how to form complete clauses after subordinating conjunctions. More accurate control of these patterns would strengthen your complex sentences.

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