Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In present era, advancement technology made possible to look individuals younger. People are buying skincare products and some are paying for treatments to look young. I believe that these kind of products can satisfy individuals personally, but overuse of products and treatments can damage body and has nagative impact. I personally suggest to use home items for skin and body care.

There are some reason why people use products and pay for treatments. First reason could be compliments. In details, some people thinks that people with beautiful face and well maintained body gets more compliments than others. Which makes them to believe that if they look the same than they will also gets more feedback from others. As a result, it will make them feel happy and joy. Second reason could be personal care. Nowadays, people do more care about their skin and body. In which, skincare products and treatments provides them quick result as compare to home remidies. Hence, people spend money on beauty products medical treatments.

However, these products and treatments can be harmful for an individuals in a long term. To begin with, it is proven that chemicals has been used in order to make beauty items. Which can directly contacts with individuals skins and damge overall skintone. Similarly, people also use protien powder to gain musucels and to look young. However, overuse of these kind of products can be harmful for the body. Although it will provide individuals strenth and beauty but at the end it is damaging their own body in long period. Medical treatments is always expensive and it will be worthless if individuals does not take care properly.

To sum up, although beauty and gym products and also medical treatment can make people look good and young, but I believe that people should rather use home products which will be harmeless and efective for a longer period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you recognise that appearance-related products may make people feel happier, but argue that excessive use can harm health and that home care is preferable. You address both the positive and negative sides, with relevant points about compliments, quick results, chemicals and medical costs. However, the discussion is unevenly developed. The point about compliments is explained, but the claim that home products are harmless and effective is asserted rather than supported, and the conclusion does not fully resolve the tension between personal benefits and health risks. Develop your examples and explain more precisely why the overall trend is good or bad.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining why people use these products, a paragraph on possible harms, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “First reason,” “However,” and “To sum up” help readers follow the argument, and the main ideas progress logically. This meets the lower-band expectations securely and shows some features of stronger organisation. To make the progression more fluent, reduce mechanical signposting and connect related claims more naturally. For example, “Which makes them to believe…” is an unclear sentence fragment, while “In which” does not clearly refer to the preceding idea. Use clearer links between cause and effect, and ensure each paragraph develops one central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “skincare products,” “medical treatments,” “chemicals,” and “long term,” so the main message is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “nagative,” “remidies,” “damge,” and “harmeless” are examples. Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “do more care” and “gets more feedback from others.” Aim to learn topic vocabulary in accurate phrases, and check spelling carefully. More precise wording for the effects of treatments and the reasons people seek them would help you express your ideas with less repetition and greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including contrast with “Although” and cause-and-effect structures such as “As a result.” The overall meaning can usually be followed, but errors occur across sentence forms and sometimes make relationships unclear. For example, “some people thinks” has subject–verb disagreement, “Which makes them…” is a fragment, and “if they look the same than they will also gets” contains problems with comparison and verb form. There are also errors in articles, plurals and agreement, as in “an individuals” and “Medical treatments is.” Practise building accurate complex sentences and checking that each clause has a subject and a correctly formed verb.

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