Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, many men and women are opting for several things which can make them look young and attractive.Whether it is done by buying expensive beauty products or taking immensely costly medical aesthetic treatments.While some argue that it is good for an individual to feel confident by getting these treatments or using beaty products, even if it costs them a fortune, i personally believe that these cosmetic procedures or products are not only expensive but they can impose serious health related disadvantages to an individual.

On one hand, many proponents of these argue that these treatments, not only boost one's confidence but also it gives them self-assurance, which can make them more successful even personally or professsionaly. For instance, if an individual feels more confident, which looking attractive can make them feel, they can certainly outperform in their workplace or even personal life.Thus, spending a substantial amount on these is worthit according to them.

On the other hand, many argue that these treatments are not only pricey, but they can pose serious health disadvantages to an individual, for example, chemical peels, which is a medical treatment to remove the scars, can sometime burns the skin of a person. Moreover, laser treatment to remove the exessive hair on a person's skin can also sometime cause burn and scarring.Furthermore, ocassionaly, these treatments are not that effective, as much as they are portrayed.For instance, buying expensive skin care products can give a little or no benefit at all.

In my opinion, it all depends upon one's personal choice. One should consider their circumstances and before opting for these treatments or products, clearly outweigh risks and benefits of these in their mind.

In conclusion, despite the believe of gaining self confidence from these things, sometimes these things can impose serious health risks to an individual.Therefore, before opting for these, one should be clear in their mind about their risks and benefits

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address the question by presenting both a benefit—greater confidence—and drawbacks involving health risks and ineffective products, then give a qualified view that the decision depends on personal choice. The examples of chemical peels, laser hair removal and skincare products are relevant. However, the position is not fully consistent: the introduction says these options are harmful, while the conclusion shifts to saying the choice depends on circumstances, without clearly deciding whether this is a good or bad development overall. The confidence argument is also asserted rather than developed; explain how it might improve someone’s life and acknowledge its limits. A clearer, sustained judgement and fuller explanation of the main reasons would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for benefits and drawbacks, and a concluding opinion. Signposting such as “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow, and examples generally appear beside the points they support. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent arrangement and shows some of the stronger control associated with more flexible cohesion. However, the final position does not follow smoothly from the introduction, and the conclusion largely repeats the health-risk point rather than resolving the discussion. Some links are mechanical, while references such as “these things” and “these” are vague. Use more precise referencing and connect each paragraph’s reasoning to your final judgement.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including “self-assurance,” “medical aesthetic treatments,” “chemical peels,” “scarring,” and “health risks.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and some less common vocabulary is attempted. However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce accuracy, including “beaty,” “professsionaly,” “exessive,” and “ocassionaly.” Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise: “health disadvantages,” “outperform in their workplace or even personal life,” and “worthit.” Repetition of “treatments,” “products,” and “these things” limits flexibility. Aim for accurate collocations and vary references—for example, distinguish cosmetic procedures from skincare products—while proofreading spelling and spacing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including a conditional structure in “if an individual feels more confident” and a contrast introduced by “While.” Meaning is generally understandable, but some sentence structures are incomplete or faulty. The opening “Whether it is done by buying…” is a fragment, and “While some argue…, i personally believe…” is not joined cleanly to the preceding sentence. There are also agreement and verb-form problems, as in “these treatments… it also gives” and “chemical peels, which is… can sometime burns.” Capitalisation and punctuation errors, including lowercase “i” and missing spaces after full stops, further affect accuracy. Build complete sentences and check subject–verb agreement and clause boundaries.

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